EroticReverie

“You’re late” he said as I walked into the store with my purse over my shoulder and a coffee for him and myself in hand. 

“wha..” I looked at him confused then to the clock in a panic.

I heard him laugh and looked back at him. I tightened my mouth and gave him a look and he laughed a little harder.

“Not funny” I said and walked up to the front counter setting out coffees down, pushing his across the counter. He grabbed it, letting his fingers reach over mine and I pulled my hand away quickly.

“So hot” he said with a sly smile as he let his eyes do a quick up and down at the top half of me from across the counter.

“Excuse me?” I asked, wondering if I heard him correctly.

He lifted his cup. “The coffee..” he said with a smile. “It’s hot” 

I wondered if he was toying with me, I was sure he was. 

“Yeah Jackson…coffee is usually hot” I said sarcastically. Wondering if I could shift the mood from what was starting to become the same tension we had last night in the back of the store by the ladder. 

He laughed. “Silly me” he said and lifted it to take a sip.

“Nice dress.” He said as I set my purse down on the counter. I was wearing the dress he mentioned the other day. The red one. Except I didn’t wear the lipstick. I didn’t want it to be too obvious that I was trying to impress him. 

“Yeah, thanks…oh…” I faked it when I said “Oh yeah..this is the one you were talking about yesterday, isnt it?” pretending it must have just slipped my mind that this was the dress that stuck out in his mind when he thought of what dress he liked me best in. 

He nodded with a smile as he took another sip of his coffee.

“It is” he said as he set his cup down.

“no lipstick today?” he asked then leaning over the counter with his elbow on it, clasping his hands, giving his head a slight toss to clear the pieces of hair that had fallen in his face. 

I shake my head. “No lipstick” I said. 

“hmmm….if you wouldve worn lipstick…I wouldve thought maybe you were trying to impress the boss…” he said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not the boss Jackson” I said opening my purse and taking out a tube of chapstick. 

He laughed. “Close enough…my dad is…so I’m like…the boss when he’s not here” he says with a shrug. 

I give him a look letting him know I know that’s not true. 

“Actually, I’m pretty sure your dad told you…specifically…that you are NOT in charge…” I said popping the cap off my chap stick and then grabbing my phone, looking at missed texts. I pushed the chapstick around in a circle, over and over as I pushed my finger across the screen of my phone. I realized he was saying and nothing and looked up. 

I paused with the chapstick, mid stroke across my lower lip as I saw him watching my mouth. 

I pulled it away from my mouth and quickly put the cap back on and shoved it in my purse and closed it as I caught him grinning at me being flustered by his stare.

“I’m gonna go put my stuff in back, do you need me to bring anything up when I come back?” I asked throwing the strap of my purse over my shoulder.

He stood up and shook his head and took his coffee again and sipped it. 

“Nope. Just you.” he said without it sounding like there was any underlying meaning.

“Right.” I said and walked down through the rows of books, forcing myself not to look back to see if he was still watching me. It didn’t matter I told myself. This is all ridiculous. He’s too old for you. You’re 18, he’s 25. He gets college chicks, what would he want with you? I shake my head, trying to convince myself I’m making it all up in my head. That I’m over analyzing last night, and the way he’s been looking at me, talking to me. The way he stood so close to me last night that he made the fine hairs on my arms stand up and every part of my body tingle. 

I shove my purse into the locker that’s mine and don’t bother locking it. I never have. Since it’s usually just me and Jackson, or another employee. It’s never busy enough to need more than three of us at one time. I was only hired as part of volunteering for school last year. Jackson was away at college and his father agreed to let me help him a few days a week for school because he needed the extra help. After the program was over he asked me to stay on, to hire me.

“Don’t worry. I’ll pay you” he joked..  I agreed because I loved the quiet, loved the smell of the store, and he was a nice guy to work for. 

But then Jackson came back. That’s when my pleasant little book shop worker dream became what I over dramatically refer to as a nightmare. His father laughs at my quick quips when me and Jackson go at it. 

“Someone needs to put you in your place Jack…I should give her a raise…a babysitting fee” I remember him saying and Jack laughing sarcastically with his father. I smile at the thought of it.  

But when he came back for winter break, he never went back to school. Told his dad he’d been thinking about taking the rest of the school year off and then starting again in fall back at the college near us. 

I remember his dad arguing with him at the front of the store, about how he needs to pick one and stick to it. Stop moving from college to college. 

“To help out at the store dad, I like being here and helping out” I remember him saying. Which I believe was true, but also believe it was a way of calming down his dad.

So for the past half a year, Jackson has been here too. Mostly driving me crazy from being a know it all, and a pain in my ass, but each day, it grows more and more to also be the fact that I’d been an idiot and gone and developed a love/hate crush on the guy. I shake my head and mumble. “Idiot”

I walk back through the store with my coffee, stopping to adjust a few books on the shelves. My eyes gazing along the rows, smiling like a fool at how much I love seeing so many books. Old, some newer, some that look almost prehistoric with how beat up the spines are. I stand there and run my fingertips over the edge of a line of old fairy tale books slowly. 

“Are you hitting on the books again?” He says, his voice startling me, and I almost spill my coffee down the front of my dress and from the other side of the shelf , in the next aisle over, I see his face peeking through the other side.

“Jesus christ!” I say and roll my eyes.

“no..just me..Jackson” he says with a smile.

I audibly scoff and shake my head. This makes him laugh.

“Seriously…the books are making sexual harassment complaints against you… we might have to take this to HR if it continues..” he teases. I stifle a laugh.

“Ha…ha” I say and almost give him the finger but just shake my head and continue to walk up to the front of the store.

He follows down the other aisle and I laugh a little as he bobs up and down as he walks, disappearing and reappearing through the space at the top of the books that are at eye level. 

“you’re an idiot” I say as we reach the end of the aisle and meet together. 

“I’m a genius actually.” he says.

I groan. 

He laughs.

“You can still be smart….and be an idiot.” I say nodding and walking up to the counter, behind it. He follows with a laugh.

“I’ve never met someone who loves to insult me as much as you do.” he says.

I set my coffee down and turn to him.

“Well I’ve never met anyone who loves to boast about themselves as much as you do.” I say and put my hand on my hip.

“I don’t boast” he says.

I give him that tilt of the head ‘are you sure about that’ face.

“Much” he adds. This earns him a smile and I drop my hand from my hip.

“I can’t help it if I’m a geni…” he starts.

“Oh god!” I groan and roll my eyes. “Shut up, don’t even finish your words.” I say and reach my hand up and hold my palm over his mouth. 

This quiets him and I realize my hand is on his mouth and I yank it away. 

“Sorry.” I say. “I didn’t mean to…touch you” I say taking a step back with an apologetic looks on his face.

“Tsk tsk” he says shaking his head. “That’s another thing to add to the HR complaint” he smiles. 

I smile back at the joke.

“You think they’ll fire me?” I play along.

“Maybe. They might. I’ll put in a good word for you though” he winks. 

My heart skips. Shit. Stop flirting. Stop playing games with him and joking around. 

I look to the side at the counter with nothing on it and turn and slap my hands on the top. 

“So! What needs to be done today?” I say cheerfully and then turn to look at him. He’s looking at me with a smile and then shakes his head and sighs and walks past me and sets his coffee down. 

“We’ll have to finish pricing the books the woman brought to us the other day and shelf them if we have room. Other than that, not much, probably just dust..” he shrugs. 

I nod. “Okay…did you want me to finish pricing, start shelving the already priced ones, or dust?” I ask.

He shrugs and for the first time I see him act boyish and maybe just a tiny bit shy. 

“Well I was thinking, we could work together today…we can finish pricing the books, then shelve them…then we can dust or whatever”

“I dont know..” I said and watched him look at me, seeing maybe just a slight feeling of insult on his face.

“Do you think we’ll make it all day without killing each other?” I asked as if it were a serious question. I watched the boyish shyness go away. 

“I’ll risk it if you will” he says. 

I tilt my head a tap my fingertip on my chin, thinking, pretending to think. He laughs at this and watches me and I look at him with squinted eyes.

“I supposeeee we can try not to kill each other today.” I say.

“Good” he says. “I get so lonely up here all alone” he pretends to whine.

“You poor baby” I say making a pouty face and reach my hand up to the side of his face and grab his cheek and pinch it. Then again pull it away quickly.

“So touchy today Audrey” he jokes.

I laugh a little nervously. “I’m late getting my caffeine fix today…not functioning properly yet I guess.”

He shrugs. “I don’t mind it.”

I look at him wondering what that means. 

“I’m just saying….I won’t report you to HR for it” he smiles.

“Right” I say with a laugh. 

He grabs a few boxes of the books that the woman brought in the other day and stacks them on the empty counter next to the register. 

I kick a step stool over to the counter and step up and sit on the counter as he turns around with another two boxes of books and pauses when he sees me on the counter. Then continues to walk over and sets the other boxes a little further down on the other side of me.  I slip my hand under my thigh fixing my dress so my legs down stick to the counter, and my dress doesn't wrinkle as much.

“I can get you a stool” he says as he sets them down and looks at me.

“I prefer the counter” I shrug. “Unless you dont want me to sit up here…” I say sounding worried, like I’m a dumbass for sitting up here.

“no..no..it’s….fine…no problem…just…” he clears his throat and I see his eyes are looking at my legs dangling off the edge, swinging as I sit on the part of the counter that lifts up and allows people to walk through. 

“It’s fine..really” he says and walks to the stool next to me and sits, grabbing color coded stickers we use to price books. 

When he sits on the stool in front of the first set of boxes, directly to my right he isn’t able to avoid the fact that the stool is low and brings his face almost level to the counter. His eyes look briefly at my knees, the hem of my dress resting right above them as I sit. 

He clears his throat. “This won’t work” he says looking to the box of books. 

“Why?” I ask.

“I just…can’t reach the books as easy with the stool this low..” he said and starts to stand. 

“I can hand them to you” I say and he sits back down. I turn just sightly my knees pointing towards him and I reach in the top box and pull out a heavy hard cover book and use both hands to hand it to him an he takes it.

“See…voila…team work” I say. 

He looks up at me and laughs. “Yeah” he says and takes a sticker and places it on the spine of the book. 

We continue to go on, me grabbing and handing him the books, and him stacking them on a cart beside them after he’s priced them. We take turns reading the titles, judging the books we know, he tries not to show off too much when he knows he knows more of them than I do. A few we have to stop and look up online, not knowing what they’re classified as, or a decent price for them. 

I hand him another book.

“Kama Sutra, how to..” then he stops realizing the title he is reading and I stop reaching for the next book and look to him. 

I see his eyes go wide and then look from side to side and then up at me. 

“Well…” I say. “how to what?” I laugh, breaking the obvious tension a book about sex created. 

“Nothing” he says and grabs a sticker and puts it on the book. I see it's a lime green sticker. 

“Two dollars?!” I say and grab the book back from him.

“Surely this book…” I say turning it around and then flip it to read the title…”Kama Sutra.. How To Provide Endless Pleasure…is worth more than 2 dollars” I tease and reach for the stickers. He watches me laughing a little and I make a confused face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“How do you put a price on pleasure?” I ask jokingly….”We need a different sticker….it’s worth at least 10.” 

“The back says it’s 8.99″ he says pointing.  I turn it and check.

“Well….obviously they have no idea how much people are willing to pay for …” I turn the book back over to remind myself and point to the words. “Endless pleasure” I laugh.

“quiet you…” he says grabbing the book and taking it and putting it on the cart.

“All I’m saying is that people would pay more than 8.99 if they believe a book is going to teach them how to give or have ENDLESS pleasure” I say with a shrug and lean back putting my hands on the counter slightly behind me.

“Yes.” he says. And I see him eyeing the white ruffles under my dress and my legs. “I believe they would too.” and he looks up. 

And now, I wish I had worn the red lipstick with the way his eyes seem to fall slowly down my body. 

I bite the corner of my lip watching his eyes observe me, I move my legs slightly, to make sure they are closed tightly, I watch his Adam’s apple move in his throat as he swallows hard. 

“Jackson?” I say.

“Yea…” he says but his eyes are darting up and down my legs and I see his hand move as if he’s about to reach out and touch me but he lowers it to his lap again.

“Jackson…” I say again, this time his eyes raise to my face, to my mouth, then to my eyes. 

“Yea..” he says almost too quiet. 

“I think I’m gonna take a quick break” I say. “Do you mind?”

We’ve only be working for 20 minutes when I look at the clock, and as I slip off the counter to the step stool, I try not to run when I walk to the back. I need to get away as fast as possible before I do something stupid. How are we going to survive the whole day? Forget killing each other, how are we going to work together all day without ending up making out…or worse….not so worse….it would be divine i tell myself. Taking Jackson as a lover. My mind flashes to the shelves of old romance novels, with girls in long dresses, and ample chest, being held by a strong man, their heads thrown back, a damsel in distress being saved by a pirate, a king, a duke…whatever. I imagine myself as one of them. The dress wearing book store girl, saved by the tall dark handsome son of the shop owner…saved from what? Not sure exactly. I’ll work out the details of the fantasy later. I burst into the door into the back room and exhale. 

“fuck” I say walking over to my locker and taking out my phone.

“Mayday” I text my friend Ashley. “mayday” i repeat.

“I need you to come visit me at the shop, before I let Jackson put his hands up  my dress” I send the text. 

Ashley thought I was stupid for having any hate at all toward Jackson.

“He’s fucking hot. And he likes you. Like, he likes you likes you. Like. A lot” she would say. I would deny it, and remind her to stop saying like so much. 

“Let him” she typed back. 

“I’m serious. Please come.” I type.

“I can’t cum. I’m not the one that’s gonna have Jacksons big hands up my dress” she types with a winky face.

“Oh my god” I say out loud at her stupid joke. 

“Ashley. Please. I’m begging you. I can’t. I can’t do it. I need you to come as soon as possible” I type.  “I dont wanna do something stupid.”

“If you really want me to…” she types.

“I do.” I send the message an stuff my phone into my purse and into my locker. I grab a cigarette from a half pack in my locker. And curse as I grab my lighter and walk out the back door. I started smoking like at idiot at 16. And “quit” a few months ago. But still snuck one here and there. I lit the cigarette and blew out a cloud of menthol smoke.

Suddenly the back door opened.

“hey” Jackson said peeking out seeing me with a cigarette. “You okay?” he asked nodding to the cigarette.

I nodded. “Just…had a craving…” I say. He nods and steps out with me. 

no . no. go away I think to myself. I cant be alone with you. I inhale as he pulls out his own pack out of his back pocket and holds his hand out to borrow my lighter. I give it to him.

I watch him as his lips part and the smoke billows out. One of the reasons I quit was because I knew the habit was disgusting, because I didnt even like watching other people smoke. But watching Jackson as he inhaled again on the cigarette, his mouth wrapping around the filter as it pulled on the cigarette. I felt myself get goosebumps again. And held my own breath as he exhaled his, and tilted his head up at the sky, to exhale the smoke up into the air, as if it would keep it from making us smell like smoke.  I looked at his neck as his head leaned back and licked my lips thinking about stepping forward and kissing it, dragging my tongue up it and biting it. I quickly took another drag to keep my mouth occupied, from saying or doing something i’d regret.

“you ever read it?” He asks.

“Read what?” I ask taking another drag.

He takes another as well and laughs a little as he exhales.

“the book…kama sutra…or any of the kama sutra books.” he says.

I’m frozen momentarily. I thought we were forgetting about this book? I ask myself. Why is he bringing it up again? It’s priced, it’s gone. Forget about it. At least let me forget about it. 

“No” I answer not wanting to avoid the question.I’m not prude. I just…it’s Jackson. 

“Have you?” I ask. 

He shrugged. “A little” he answers and then looks around the back of the building as if were just having a normal chat. He flicks his cigarette.

“you have?” I ask in disbelief.

He nods and takes another drag, and so do I. We both exhale at the same time.

“A girl I dated for a while had it…well…her parents had it….I was in highschool at the time…I picked it up again in college when another girl had it in her dorm room…we tried a few” he goes on.

“Ok Jackson.” I cut him off.  He stops. Almost looking apologetic. 

I try to cover up the fact I cut him off because I can’t handle hearing him tell me some kind of god at sex.

“Jackson is not only a genius…but a sex god…got it” I joke and he smiles now and laughs. 

He shrugs and dusts of something imaginary from his shoulder. 

“well you know what they say” he takes a drag of his cigarette as I push the end of mine into the brick wall and put it out.

“No Jackson.. I dont…please tell me”  I roll my eyes.

He laughs and shrugs. “Nah…I dont know either.” he throws his cigarette on the ground and steps on it and starts to open up the door.

“No.” I say and point to the cigarette. “Pick that up…didn’t your father tell you to stop doing that” I say.

He laughs and bends over. “Yes ma’am” he says and picks up the butt. We both toss them in a garbage can inside the door and I walk to my locker. Grab a stick of gum and put it in my mouth, spray a bit of perfume, and grab my chapstick to bring with me up front, and reapply some at my locker.

“Can I have some?” Jackson says right behind me.

I turn and make a face. “My chapstick?” I scrunch my nose and make an ew face.

He laughs. “no. A piece of gum.”

“Oh.” I say and turn and hand him a piece over my shoulder after taking it out of my purse. I grab my phone an see that Ashley says she can be here in an hour. I stomp one of my feet and groan. 

“what’s wrong?” Jackson asks peeking over my shoulder. I hide my phone. 

“Oh nothing.” I say and put my phone back in my purse. “Just a friend…cancelled plans later” I lie. 

I close my locker and turn around with him standing right there. I look up at him. And we both stand there for a second.

“We should go back up front” I say.

“Yeah.” He says but he’s not moving.

“yea” I say and we both stop chewing our gum. I break eye contact first and look down at the small space between us.

“I really love that dress” he says and I look back up and hes got his mouth partially open and I’d back up if the locker wasnt already at my back.

“Yea” I say, nervous, flustered, my cheeks heating up.

He smiles as my eyes move around up and down nervously.

“yea” he says. 

“you should wear it more often” he says.

I nod. “Ok” I say. 

“Audrey..” he says and moves closer and I back up as much as I can into the locker. Fuck. Please don’t I think to myself. I feel my whole body tremble slightly as he steps even closer. 

“yea” I say.

He lifts his hand and I can tell he’s bringing it to my face and I look up at him and he’s got a small smile on his face and he licks his lips and I hold my breath as his hand comes closer to my face.

He grabs my cheek, and pinches it like I did to his earlier and laughs and then backs up slightly. 

“Let’s go up front” he says with a large grin and turns and walks to the door leading to back out to the store.

My head screams. No. Come back. I know what you’re doing. Fucking man tease. Man tease. Fucking , fuck you. I say pushing my back off the locker and following him back out. I curse him inside my head the whole way back up to the front, and watch him flip the sign back around at the door to open again.