EroticReverie

_{*commissioned*}

 "Layna ?" a male voice sounding of disbelief calls my name as I stand in the produce section, looking at vegetables. My head turns and at first I don't recognize him , because now he has facial hair, and now he's not wearing college sweat shirts and sweat pants, but he's in a suit. When I realize it's him, a brief flash of one of our last nights together flashes through my mind. I'm tied to the bed in his dorm room, and endure over an hour of torturous teasing, his large hands on my body, and his mouth, both touching every inch of my skin. I feel an automatic ache in between my legs. I haven't seen him since we graduated college. 

"Benjamin?" I said quietly, surprised as the one side of his mouth quirked into a half smile as it always did, before the other side turned up as well and he flashed his teeth, still perfect, still dazzling white. 

"I can't believe it !" He says in disbelief again as he walks towards me arms out stretched, coming at me for a hug. 

"Yeah - I.." I'm cut off by the surprise of him leaning down and wrapping his arms around me as if no time has passed, as if he's hugging me like he used to when we'd have to go more than 24 hours without seeing each other in college, missing each other so much, that we'd smother each other in our arms when we saw each other again. 

"OH!" I say as he almost knocks me backward into my grocery cart. I laugh nervously. I don't know why I'm nervous. He's been inside me, had every part of me, for almost two years in college. He brought out the side of me that nobody would ever imagine a quiet girl like myself would have. When I was with him, I was a different person in the bedroom. But, maybe I was nervous because seeing him now isn't the first I've thought about since I last saw him. Nervous because, it was just last week I used a memory of ours together, to get myself off in the shower. 

"God" he says, still holding onto me, and I swear he inhales my hair. "It's so good to see you Layna." he says before squeezing me tighter and then releasing me and standing tall again. I look up to him and smile, and can feel my cheeks blushing as I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"It's good to see you too" I say looking down, unable to even look him in the eyes, because I'm too nervous, and he doesn't seem to be at all, which makes me feel even more nervous and shy. Why ?

"Did you move back or are you just visiting?" he says and he I see his eye look down over my dress. It's a modest sun dress, white with a floral pattern of pink roses, and it goes all the way down to my knees, buttons all the way down the middle and has short sleeves, that I wish were long, because his eyeing me is giving me goosebumps. 

"Moved back." I say. 

"When?" he says finally looking back up at me. I fidget and tuck my hair again behind my ear even though it hasn't moved. 

"Just a few months ago." I say. 

"Ahhh" He says nodding and he smiles. "Well, welcome back." he says as a long leggy blonde that is wearing jeans with red heels, and a red long sleeved top walks up to him.

"Hey babe" she says and nudges into him sliding her hand around his back, stepping to his side, almost in front of him, she's claiming him, warning me, all while smiling sweet as pie. 

"Oh hey" he laughs turning his head to her and then looks back to me. 

"Gina, this is Layna, my ..." he pauses. "My old friend from college" he gives me a slight smirk, and it's okay that he's not telling her I was his girlfriend for two years. It doesn't matter, because we were more sexual than anything, it never got too deep with us, because we couldn't stop fucking long enough to bond any other way. 

"nice to meet you" I smile and reach out my hand and she takes it and shakes it. 

"Layna this is Gina, my girlfriend" he says. 

I nod as I release her hand. 

"We should have drinks, catch up sometime" Benjamin says his eyebrows raising in hopefulness that I say yes, and my eyes flip to his girlfriend who almost hides her scowl,...almost. 

"OH, I....I'm busy" I say shaking my head, not wanting to witness a lovers quarrel in the middle of the super market. 

"Pft!" Benjamin laughs, and his hands chuck my arm playfully. 

"Don't give me that Hughes" he calls me by my maiden name. And I smile slightly at how he used to always call me that back in college. 

"Actually..." I say. holding up my ring finger, more for his girlfriend, so she stops trying to put hexes on me with her eyes. "It's Spencer now" I wiggle my finger. 

His eyes widen. "Spencer?" he asks. 

I nod.

"As in Calvin Spencer?" he asks. I nod again.

Calvin and I met in my last year of college towards the end, Calvin was also one of the many reasons Benjamin and I broke up. I had fallen in love with Calvin, head over heels, on the emotional level that me and Benjamin had lacked. 

"Wow" he says nodding. "Congrats" he says shaking his head slightly as if rattling the disbelief from his head. 

I get a real smile from his girlfriend. 

"Oh that's wonderful!" she says. "Congratulations!" 

I smile and nod. "Thank you" 

"We should still catch up soon." Benjamin says, looking at me, and his eyes are burning into mine. I swallow. 

"I-....I have to get going. I'm sure I'll see you around." I say with a nod and turn and wince as I push my cart through the aisle towards the door, my heart racing, and wondering why I'm so affected by running into him. I leave the cart at the door and walk out the automatic doors, my feet carrying me quickly through the parking lot towards my car. I get to my car and dig in my purse. 

I mumble to myself searching for my keys in the bottom of my giant purse and I pull them out finally and hit the unlock button and my car clicks and beeps. As I reach for the handle a hand slaps down in front of me on the top of the car door before I can try to open it. 

I gasp and jump and turn around, and it's Benjamin. I push my back to the car door as he hovers over me looking down smiling. 

"Drinks." he says. 

I shake my head. 

"I can't." I say. 

His brows furrow. 

"Why not?" he asks cocking his head slightly and moving slightly closer. I inhale, and can feel my chest rising and falling in panic. 

"I'm married." I say.

He gives a little smirk and shrugs.

"And I have a girlfriend." he says. 

"I just don't think it's a good idea." I say. 

He smirks, his devilish smile coming out, the one he'd always give me before he tore my clothes from my body and threw me on the closest surface and screwed my brains out. 

"I'm just asking to have a few drinks Layna, not fuck you in the bar bathroom" he says.

My heart stops a moment and my mouth goes dry. 

"Ben.." I say with a little gasp, looking around at other people walking through the lot. 

"Have one drink with me Layna...I want to catch up...that's it...we spent most of college together...c'mon...you don't wanna know what I've been up to?" he fakes a pout. 

I lick my lips and he steps even closer, I push against the car, and I can feel the same energy between us that was there before. It was undeniable the first time we met, and it still is as I feel my panties start to get wet just from his scent, his glare, his body being this close. 

"I'll meet you and Jack's? At 8?" he says. I blink at him and only stare at him.

"Ben, I don't thi-" 

"See you at 8" he gives me a wink pushing off my car and striding away. 

My breath whooshes out of me and I feel weak standing there, as if I could collapse just from that encounter. I pull my door open and sit in my car. 

On the way home I grab Chinese and tell my husband Calvin it was because I had simply changed my mind. Not because I ran into Benjamin from college who somehow still made my knees week when I looked at him. I hated myself for lying, but it was just easier than a possible argument over something, that was nothing. Because it was nothing. Wasn't it? There was no point in telling him, because I wasn't going to meet Benjamin at Jack's. There was no point in telling my husband who I was madly in love with that I ran into the ex who blew up my phone the first 3 months me and Calvin were together, trying to get me to cheat on him. 

Calvin and I, eat take out on the couch. Afterwards I pick up the containers and the trash and take it in the kitchen, and look at the clock. It's 6:30.

"I'm going out later with Jenna, just for a few drinks" I say from the kitchen while he sits in the living room. 

"Where?" he calls back. 

"Not sure yet" I say, my heart racing. I was lying. Again. And this lie, was bigger. This lie was bad, and I knew it was, but I knew I needed to see him , just to talk. Because the truth was I missed him. I missed the way he made me feel when I was with him. Not that my husband didn't make me feel good, or that I was unhappy in anyway, I just...missed the electric butterflies that I got from Benjamin. They were there today in the grocery store. I wanted them again. 

"Alright, need me to drop ya off?" He asked. 

"No that's okay, I'm not going to actually drink...probably just have a soda" I say, and bite my lip. 

"Alright." he says.

I can't even look him in the face. 

I wince, and tell myself i'm being stupid, being a dumb woman, being a bad wife. 

"Kay, well I'm going to go get ready. Probably leave here in an hour or so" I say.

"Alright" he says and I hear him turn up the volume on the tv. 

I go upstairs. 

I shaved my legs this morning. But I shave them again in the shower. 

After my shower I blow dry my hair, staring myself down in the mirror, shaking my head at myself. My brain on repeat telling me "Bad idea....bad idea....bad idea....don't do it Layna" 

But the rest of me follows through. I finish blow drying my hair. I put on a little mascara and then go to my bedroom and put on a light lavender wrap dress that ties at the side. I wear a white lace bra, and matching white lace thong panty underneath. I hate myself for putting on lace lingerie, because I know that lace is Benjamin's favorite. Not that he'll see it. At least that's what I tell myself even though part of me isn't sure i'm being honest with myself. 

After leaving the house, kissing Calvin goodbye, I get into the car and drive to Jack's which is a small little dive bar, we all used to go to as college students, because they never carded. 

It's Tuesday, so I know I don't have to worry about it being too busy. I'm early , but Benjamin's earlier and waiting outside as I drive by. My breath hitches, and I park along the curb a little down the road and exhale, checking my rear view. 

It's not too late to go back home Layna. I tell myself looking in the mirror. No, I can control myself, it's just ONE drink. It's fine. I argue with the devil and angel inside me. 

I open the door and step out of the car, When I stand and look down to the next building where he stands outside waiting, looking at me, that large, "I knew you'd come" grin on his face. 

The devil wins. 

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