EroticReverie

Ryder

She better be kidding about Ace and the roadies. I know she is actually. She's doing a tit for tat, pulling my chain when I pull hers. Giving what she gets. But I don't even like the image of her under them. She's too good for them , and for me. 

It's hard to concentrate when I'm up there, looking down at her and Callie in the floor seats, sitting next to one another talking quietly as me and the guys work on getting the sound right. 

I watch her head good back with a laugh, and find myself staring at her neck, her perfect smile, and I smile watching her. Her face is perfect, and when she smiles, it's something fucking else. Like a god damn punch in the gut. The shit you write songs about. The shit I might have to write a song about. 

Once are instruments and mics are checked, we start playing one of our main hits from our first album. It's a song I hate fucking paying, but it's what got us on the scene. What made us. It's her song. My fucking exes. The girl I dated all throughout high school, they girl that broke up with me for a guy from another band that had fucking opened for us that summer. They'd been screwing the whole fucking time. When the tour was over, and she didnt want to say goodbye to him, she said goodbye to my instead. Told me every fucking detail, ripped my fucking heart out. I was over it now. I hated her now, because she wasn't who I ever thought she was. 

Madison

As soon as his voice starts coming through the speakers, I shut my mouth, and so does Callie, and we watch them. Well, I watch him specifically, because he's looking straight at the back of the arena, focused on one single spot, I turn to look but there's nothing there. 

I swallow a knot in my throat, because the song is one I know. About a girl. It's a love song, but he's singing it as though it's not. My heart thuds in my chest, the sound of his voice vibrating through us. I just stare at him, his eyes never leaving that spot, and I watch as he angrily strums the last cords of the song. 

I just blink when it's over, frozen in my seat and I watch as he lifts his guitar from over his shoulder and shoves it in the hands of one of the stage crew as he storms off. 

"What...what just happened?" I ask quietly and push up from my seat , I don't give Callie time to answer because I'm running  to the side of the stage, and pushing through the doors. 

I see him down the long hall, pushing through double doors at the end. I run as fast as my short legs will take me. 

My boots are clicking against the tiles and echoing in the empty hall, and I'm out of breath when I reach the door, bursting through it. I stop, looking both ways down another hall that extends both ways.

"Jesus christ" I mutter. 

"Ryder!" I yell, waiting for a response. 

One doesn't come so I take off to the left, hoping for luck to be on my side. I mean he couldnt possibly find alcohol or drugs within a few minutes, but I didn't want him to be alone. I didn't want his mind to go there, to be able to go to a place where he even thought about it. 

When i burst through the next set of double doors, I stop, I'm outside , along the side of the stadium, and look one way, my heart pounding, not seeing him, and then look the other way. 

A sigh of relief escapes me when I see him sitting on the ground, back to the wall, smoking a cigarette. 

He doesn't look up, and I walk over as I catch my breath. 

"I'm so out of shape." I say breathing heavily and then stop, bending over hands on my knees, catching my breath still. He doesn't look at me or say anything. 

"Hey" I say quietly. 

He turns his head as he takes a drag of his cigarette.

"You okay?" I ask, and bring myself to the ground in front of him facing him. 

He nods. "Yep" 

I cock my head. "Are you really though?" I ask. 

He shrugs. "I just hate that fucking song." he says. 

"Is it about your ex?" I ask and he looks at me, nodding again. 

"Fucking bitch" he mutters. His eyes look back to mine. "Sorry...I just.."

I shake my head. "Don't apologize, I'm sure she deserves it." I say with a slight smile, and he gives a half hearted one back. 

"Fuck" he groans, putting his head back against the wall. 

"You shouldnt play that song if it's making you this upset." I say. 

He sighs. "Fans love that song." 

"So what?  If it makes you feel like shit, don't play it anymore." I say and he looks at me. 

"Youre just saying that so your job is easier." he says. 

"Or I'm saying it because regardless of whether or not it's my job to keep you sober...I care about your sobriety whether or not Im getting paid to help you with it." I say. 

"You care about me Dove?" he teases.

I roll my eyes. "I wouldnt go that far" I tease back with a little smirk. 

He smiles and for a moment we sit there in silence. 

"Fuck that song." I say with a little scowl.

He gives a little laugh and puts out his cigarette.

--

After sound check, all of us return to our rooms at the hotel.  We have a late lunch together in the restaurant downstairs, and then I spend the rest of the afternoon with Callie, while the band has a meeting with Russell. 

I realize that I wont end up seeing Ryder again until at the arena.  Callie informs me that Ryder's dressing room is minimal, because it's always swept for drugs and alcohol before hand by either Russell, or myself now. But tonight Russell is handling it.  Also the security guard outside his room, checks anyone else that enters his room before , during and after the show. 

When Callie and I arrive at the arena we see the band, and Russel outside in the hall. 

"Where is he?" I ask eyes wide in a panic. 

Russell shakes his head. "He's fine, he's just...in his room." 

"Should I..should I get him?" I ask knowing it's close to the time for them to go on, and I can hear the loud music of the opener , ending their last song. 

Pheonix the drummer chuckles.  "I dont think you want to do that." 

My brows pinch and then i hear it. Behind the door were standing in front of , I hear a females moans. 

My eyes widen. The guys chuckle, Callie groans and Russell just sighs. 

I hear her screaming his name through the door and my stomach curls in on itself. 

I try to remain unaffected, and roll my eyes as I normally would. I put on an act that hides the fact I'm cursing myself for being stupid enough to, in less than 12 hours, let myself feel any type of way. I knew better, but a small part of me was holding onto a pea sized ball of hope that maybe he wasn't just teasing me, that he might actually want me. Stupid, I know. I was beating myself up inside as something rattled against the wall and a female scream came. 

Ace laughed. "End scene." he said, making the others laugh, and I just shook my head. 

A few moments later the door opened, to a girl with blue and purple hair and a tight white crop top and short black shorts and fishnets, covered in tattoos, left through his door, Ryder giving her a smack on the ass as she giggled and walked away with one of the security men. 

I grimaced, watching him watch her walk away, and then he turned his head, seeing all of us standing to the other side of the door in the middle of the hall. His wide smile faltered when his eyes fell on me. I just blinked, and then looked down and pretended to check my phone. 

"Nice man" Pheonix said looking after the girl as well. I shuffled on my feet, not looking back up and then looking to Callie as she started to talk. I could tell Ryder was still looking at me as Callie spoke telling us it was time to head to the stage. 

Her and Russell lead the way, and the other guys followed as did I, with Ryder closing his door and coming up behind me. 

"Hey" he said  as I tried to walk a little faster. 

"Hey" I said without looking at him and kept walking. 

"I need to talk to you for a second." he said and grabbed my arm. 

I yanked it from his arm. 

"You can do that, without touching me, and you can talk as we walk." I say. 

Ryder

I could tell she was pissed. For whatever reason. But I didn't owe Madison anything. I'd just fucking met her. She was my sober companion, not my fucking girlfriend. So why the hell did I feel guilty that she had to see that girl leave my dressing room?

"I just wanted to thank you, for suggesting the song be taken off the list." I said. 

Russell told us at the meeting earlier that he was having it removed from the set list. He didn't say why, but I knew it had something to do with Madison. I'd have never asked for them to take it off, and they'd never offered to before. So it had to be her.  

"I don't know what you're talking about." she said, lips set in a straight line as she kept looking forward.

"Yes you fucking do." I said. "I appreciate it, a lot" I add and she shrugs. 

"Whatever." she says. "Not a big deal. Just doing my job." she says and I can tell it's a meant to be a jab , and it is, cause it feels like she just smacked me in the face.  She said outside the building she cared for more reasons other than it being her job....but now she was changing her tune. 

"Madison" I whisper her name, grabbing her arm again. 

"What?" she says, stopping, clearly annoyed. "What? What do you want?" she asks looking up at me. 

"You in my bed?" I say, trying stupidly to get back to our stupid banter. 

"Grow up Ryder" she says and turns and keeps walking.

I sigh hanging my head back and groaning and then keep walking following the group to the stage. 

All my fucking pent up tension with Madison, goes into the show. The entire time my adrenaline is going, from the crowd and from her. I don't see her the entire show though.  When I ask Callie and Russell where she is when we get off stage. They tell me she's down in the dressing rooms. 

As soon as the encore is done I take off and go right towards the dressing rooms. 

My lips tighten when I see her in one of the halls, talking to Steve, one of the fucking roadies. A  jacked guy, who is currently looking at her like she's his next meal. I watch her reach out and touch his arm as she talks , laughing with him. 

"Madison!" I yell down the hall. I see her jump and look at me, Steve turning his head. 

"I need you a moment." I yell down the hall. 

I see her mouth form an apology and then she walks down the hall.

"What is it?" she asks as I turn and walk down the hall toward my dressing room. 

I hear her sigh behind me as I make her follow me in silence. I hear her pretty much lightly jogging to keep up with my pace. 

I groan when outside my dressing room a bunch of girls with VIP passes are outside our rooms waiting for their meet and greet. They squeal when I get closer and security presses them back, I put a smile on my face and wave.  

"See you in a few minutes ladies" I wink at them and they swoon as they do everytime. 

I hold the door open for Madison and she walks in behind me and I shut the door , and I lock it. 

"I told you not to talk to the roadies." I say walking over to the table , grabbing a water, ripping the cap off and taking a large gulp.

She let's out an exasperated sigh.

"I might work for you Ryder, but you can't dictate who I talk to." she says. "Because it's none of your concern." 

My jaw ticks and I look at her.
My nostrils flare, because all I can think about is crossing this room and ripping her clothes off and fucking her ten times harder than I did that groupie from earlier. 

"Considering you need the money Polly, I wouldn't press your luck too much." I say. 

"What's that supposed to mean? You're going to fire me for talking to someone?" she says, her angel face, screwing up angrily. 

I take a gulp of water and shrug. "Maybe." 

"then fucking fire me" she says, hands on hips. 

"No." I say. 

"If you dont want me here, then fire me!" she yells. 

"If I fire you, you still get paid. " I say. 

I take a deep breath, realizing how bad this is, that she already drives me this crazy. So I push. I push her away like all the other sober companion, but I push her for a different reason. 

"If you're mad about me screwing that girl....get over it." I say. 

I watch her head go back slightly as she blinks at me. 

"Cause I have to get it from somewhere Polly...so unless you plan on spreading your legs for me." I shrug. "I'm gonna have to spread someone elses"  I give a smirk, but it's not a real one, it's forced, because the shock on her face makes me feel like a total fucking dick. But I need to be. I can't have her here. It's not a good idea. 

Madison

I clench my jaw, my lips tightening. 

"Well considering I was hired to be a sober companion and not a whore....I won't be spreading my legs for you. Absolutely ever." I say. 

"And I couldn't care less about how many women you screw...screw every girl outside the fucking door Ryder. Just fucking stay sober. " I say and turn and walk out the door. 

I push past Carter and Ace and Ace spins as he sees me storm out. He follows me while the other guys go in, and I walk down the hall.

"Madison, wait up!" Ace calls. 

He follows me and checks up on me, I assure him im face, it was just Ryder being Ryder. After a few minutes he goes back to the room and does the meet and greet with the guys. 

I keep the shock off my face when Ryder crams into his own van with 6 different girls, along with Russell, and I watch Russell start to hand them paperwork as Ryder locks eyes with me as the van door shuts.

The rest of the guy pile into another van, Pheonix and Carter each bringing a girl back to the hotel as well.

"Jesus" I say standing next to Callie .

"Yep." she says as they pull away and we wait for an uber.