EroticReverie

Ellie Riley

"Why do you look so nervous? I'm the one getting married!" My sister said as we all stood together getting ready to walk down the aisle. 

I gave my sister a smile, and air kissed her cheek. 

"I'm just excited for you" I said giddily, lying. 

I was excited for her. But the truth was, I was nervous to see a man that I knew would be in the pews of the church. A man I hadnt seen or talked to since I left that summer seven years ago. 

My uncle Benny.

Seven years ago, when I was 18, him and my aunt Grace, my mothers sister, split up. She moved across country for some guy she met online, leaving him with the kids. It was a split everyone knew was coming, because Grace was a selfish woman. Gorgeous, but utterly selfish. The lady left her fucking kids here for fucks sake and hasnt tried to contact either of them since, that I know of. My uncle Benny was more family than she was even before they split. My aunt was just a tolerated sibling of my mothers. We often wondered how on the world she landed a guy as good, and as handsome as Benny. 

But my Uncle Benny was stressed. At the time he had five year old son Sammy, and Dani his eight year old daughter. 

It happened in April of my senior year, but i'd finished school early, so I'd already been out of school and working a part time job to save up money to have for college in the fall. 

Per my parents request since I was the only cousin old enough to do so, I moved in with my uncle Benny, to help watch over the kids during the day while he was at work, get Benny to his half day of pre school, and get Dani on the bus for school. Then be there for them after school. 

Playing the part of full time nanny, without a female presence other than myself around, things became cloudy and too comfortable between me and my uncle real quick. 

In a little over a month of being there, we'd shared our first kiss. 

A week later, after avoiding each other, we shared our second.

That same night, I'd slept in his bed, and slept in it, every night, until the very end of summer when I'd left for college.

I was his. He was mine. For months. Amazing months that I find myself still missing, amazing months that have me praying the bullets of sweat from my nerves of seeing him again, wont ruin my bridesmaid dress or show through. 

Things were intense at the end before I went away. We'd said we loved each other, said under different circumstances, we'd be together. Even at eighteen, I knew a relationship with my uncle was not an option. It didn't matter if he wasn't blood. Neither of us wanted the judgement, because not only was there the whole, he'd been my uncle forever thing. There was also the fact that I had been eighteen and Benny was thirty eight at the time. 

Now he was forty five, and if my facebook stalking these past years away from him have taught me anything, it's that he's only improved in the looks department.

How was that even fair? How could men getting grey hairs be so incredibly hot and be called silver foxes, while women who aged, even if it was gracefully, were often deemed past their expiration somehow. Shit is fucked up. 

His most recent picture was of him on vacation with the kids. I still talked to them through facebook of course, I loved those damn kids. 

But Benny and I had successfully avoided contact for seven fucking years.  Here I was sweating my lady balls off in an a line, one shoulder, asymetrical chiffon , plum colored dress. Even with my hair pinned up on one side, I was hot as fuck with my nerves. The few shots I took before leaving the bridal room wasn't helping much either. 

"Ok girls....get ready" the planner said as the music started.

Fuck, I felt like I was going to throw up. Would he even recognize me? Did he stalk me like I stalked him?  God, I couldnt wait to lay eyes on him in person, would we talk? Did I want to? I hadnt even decided that yet even though I've known this encounter would come for the past year. 

"Ellie!" my sister whisper yells. "Go silly!" she says giving me a gentle tap and push on the shoulder. 

"oh!" I jump and then rush forward to turn onto the aisle runner, my shoe catching.

It's all in slow fucking motion as the planners words play back in my head. "Dont trip on the runner girls, be careful". 

"Oh! Fu- " I go face first the bouquet of flowers falling from my hand and falling beneath me. 

"Oh my god" I wince in embarrassment as I feel the best man grab me under my arm to help lift me, but I'm not even ready, so my legs just kick from under me and I fall to my ass instead. 

And i'm literally sweating, like a whore in church. 

I feel my face flush red as Kevin the best man tries his best not to laugh, along with the rest of the church. The initial reaction was gasps. But those who knew me best, my relatives, were fighting back chuckles from the front of the church along with the brides maids and groomsmen who'd I'd spent the week in town getting to know before the wedding. 

I look to my sister to give an apologetic glance before Kevin whisks my hot mess ass to the altar for me to stand for the next half hour in front of everyone who just witnessed my clumsy behavior. All Im worried about is my trip and fall overshadowing her , in her goregeous dress, but she's biting her lips together, and giggling. 

"oh you jerk" I hiss and she lets out a loud giggle, her lips parting and the rest of the church laughs when they hear her. 

I look down the aisle at her fiance Grayson and he's laughing at his soon to be wife cackling around the corner at my misfortune. 

I clench my teeth and give the audience a nervous little smile as they all politely nod as if to say "It's okay sweetie, It's okay Ellie, don't worry about it, we'll only make jokes and reference the maid of honor who fell on her face for the next ten years of our lives" 

I almost trip again half way down the aisle, because. Fucking Benny. 

His eyes are on me, and he has that smirk I remember that he always gave right before he'd tell me "You're adorable baby"

My heart almost jumps out of my chest at the sight of him. I mean, is it really fair for your uncle, or any relative for that matter to be this attractive? He looks like an even hotter Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and I mean, is that even possible?

As I keep walking, Kevin making some joke under his breath at my second almost stumble, but I don't hear him, cause then I see beside him, isn't his daughter or son, but a woman, and THEN his daughter and son. She's holding his arm, standing on her toes peering down the back of the church to try to see the bride who isn't even coming until i'm in place. But Benny's eyes, they're on me. 

He seems to see the shock in my eyes in that split second, cause his little smirk falters and he then just gives that tight lipped smile that you give a passing stranger. 

I make it up to the altar in one piece, but inside I feel like a million pieces have shattered. Of course he has a girlfriend you nit wit. Why wouldnt he? Just because you havent dated since him, doesnt mean he was supposed to pine over you like you did him. You didnt talk! For years! You told him not to contact you! To not make it harder than it was! i curse myself, as my eyes search the floor for answers, my heart beat in my ears, drumming, and I can't hear anything other than... 

"I love you Ellie"  "i love you baby"  "You know how much i love you baby?" "Fuck baby, I love you so much" , and the last one is on repeat in my head in his voice, the voice that was deep in my ear when he was on top of me, making love to me in the bed he used to share with my aunt, that had become ours. I swallowed the imaginary fucking rock in my throat, and reminded myself to smile, reminded myself to look down the aisle. 

I'd forgotten all about the fall at the start of the aisle now. Instead I was thinking about the one that was taking place in my head, in my heart, because...I still loved him.