EroticReverie

Maksim

"Go upstais Audrey." I say, not looking at her. 

I can feel her face on me, her hazel eyes staring, I can feel her fear. 

Slev's words should not have gotten to me. But they did, and it was a low fucking blow that I shouldve fucking ended him for, when he mentioned my mother and sisters. 

"Maks-"

"Audrey! Go!" I bellow, my voice angry as I bend over, taking my hand under the coffee table and flipping. Sending decorative glass pieces crashing to the floor the table hitting the floor with a loud crash. 

Audrey yelps, staggering back against the wall. 

My nostrils flare and I look at her. Slev's words eating at me. 

I didn't care to be anything like my father, but I did need to be smart. I did need to be careful, and I wasn't being either with her. I was letting my fucking dick do the thinking. I was torn between wanting to just say fuck it and take her and leave. Go somewhere with her, where I could just kiss her and fuck her all day, and not have to worry about shit else. 

But my loyalty, to my men, it meant something to me. I wasn't going to kill Audrey, that much was certain. But word WOULD spread about the mercy I'd given her.  It would make me look weak, make my men question their boss, make other groups question our strength. But I didn't fucking care. 

Because seeing the silent tears streaming down my face have me cursing at myself for being a fucking bastard.

I walk over towards her. "Audrey" I sigh. "I'm s-"

"don't" she jerks away from my touch. 

I draw my hand back. 

"Can I please just go to my room?" she asks, her tears slipping from her eyes over her cheeks, ripping my heart open. 

"I want to sleep alone tonight." she says and I scowl. My nostrils flaring. 

"No." I say and she looks at me. 

"I'm not sleeping in your bed." she says. 

"It's OUR bed now, and YES...you WILL." I say and put my hands to the wall on either side of her, dipping down and looking in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry I scared you." I say and she looks away. 

"He wants you to kill me." she says her lip quivering, her wet eyelashes hitting her cheeks as she closes them. 

"I dont give a fuck about what he wants. About what anyone fucking wants. I don't do anything I don't want to fucking do. And I already told you...nobody will lay a fucking finger on you. Including me." I tell her. 

"Your father..." she says. "what happened to him?" she asks. 

I drop my hands and lift one to my jaw and rub it slightly. I sigh. 

"I killed him." I admit.  Her eyes widen. 

"You...you killed your own father?" she asks quietly. 

"I killed a man who didnt deserve to be called a father, or even be called a man at all." I tell her. 

"Your mother and sisters...Slev made it sound like.." she trails off. 

"They're dead." I say. I watch her eyes fill with new tears. 

"I'm sorry" she whispers, her tiny voice cracking. 

"He had them killed." I say and her hands go to my shirt. 

"Maksim" she says my name gently, placing her hands on my chest. 

"They had been better off. They lived in hell under his control." I say. 

"we all did" I say as her hands slide up behind my neck. 

"Im so sorry" she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

"He raped them." I tell her. Her body freezing. 

"Your...father...he raped...your sisters?" she shakes, her voice trembling. 

"And my mother. ...and he Beat all of us whenever it suited him. For things we said, or did, for things we didnt say or do. Or for no reason at all. I swore Id never be like him." I say, feeling the sickness in my gut. 

"Maksim" she cries and I cant even look at her, not as I speak my truths, the weights falling off my shoulders for the first time ever. I didnt talk about them anymore. I couldnt. I couldnt talk about the dark shit he did to them, and how I could still hear my sisters screams and cries. My mothers pleading with him. The bruises and marks he left on them inside and out. 

"My sisters were afraid of the dark too. But they had reasons." I say and she shakes her head and slides her hands down my chest and around me, pushing her cheek to my chest. 

"You're not him." she says and hearing her say it makes it a little easier to believe. 

"Let's go upstairs." she says softly and pulls back, her hands going to mine and she holds them. 

--

Leaving the destroyed table and floor covered in glass , Audrey and I go upstairs. 

She's the first person I've talked to about my sisters or my mother. The first time I've said outloud , the things that my father did to them. To us. 

Audrey brings me to the bedroom, and into the bathroom. She runs hot water for a bath and then comes to me, looking up at me as her hands move over my chest, and undo my clothes, all of them until she has me naked. 

It was nice to have someone take care of me again.  To show concern for me. Because the last I remember of it was from my mother. My mother would have liked Audrey. A lot. She also would have told me, knowing the man I'd become, that I didn't deserve her. My mother knew my heart was good like hers, but she also knew that I was bound to follow in my fathers footsteps. Nobody could run from this life, it didnt matter if you were born into it or not. 

She takes me to the tub, I get in the large bath and Audrey removes her dress and slides in behind me, her legs coming around me and I relax slightly as I feel her small frame behind me, her breasts against my back as she wraps her arms around me, laying her head on my back. 

She kisses my back and then unwraps her arms from around me and slides her hands up and down my back. 

"Tell me about your mother and sisters. Tell me the good things." she says. 

I smile to myself, but I only feel sadness. Remembering all the times I'd laughed with them, how happy we were when my father wasnt around. Sadness that I couldnt save them. 

"My mother was beautiful." I say. 

Audrey's hands lift to my shoulders, her thumbs pressing into my shoulder blades as she massages them and I let out a sigh. 

It felt good to have her hands on me, comforting me. Sure I got massages, but even if she wasnt a skilled masseuse, her hands were a thousand times better for the job of relaxing me. 

"She was smart. She loved us unconditionally. She spent as much time with us as she could. Always by our sides, always taking care of us." I say. 

"My sisters were brats." I say and I give a little laugh and Audrey lays back, pulling me with her so I lean back on her chest. 

Her fingers comb through my hair and I close my eyes. 

"but they were just like my mother. good hearts. fucking funny too." I say as I look up at the ceiling then close my eyes again as her fingers combing my hair send me deeper into relaxation. 

"My mother would have loved you." I tell her, her hands pausing a moment. 

"But she would have told me that you were too good for me." I say. 

"I'm perfect for you" she says softly. 

I reach up, grabbing her hands , then hold them to my chest after kissing one.

"I need to be perfect for you." I say. 

"You are." she says. 

I shake my head. "Nobody is worthy of you Lavender, especially not me." 

"Don't argue with me Maksim" she says. 

I give a little laugh and sit up, the water moving in the tub as I pull her up and switch spots, putting her back to my chest as she leans back, smiling as we resituate. 

I slide my hands around her and up to her breasts, cupping them softly, just holding her breasts in my hands as I dip my mouth to her neck. She tilts her head, opening up the space, and I kiss her slowly on her skin. 

"I don't talk about them...to anyone." I tell her. 

"You can talk to me about them...whenever you want." she says. 

I move my hands, grabbing her breasts and massaging them. 

"Lavender?" I whisper against her neck and she moans. 

"I dont want to talk anymore right now" I tell her and gently bite her neck. 

She moans slightly. "Okay" she breathes out.