EroticReverie

Carson James

It's eleven o clock when I leave my office , whiskey bottle and glass in hand, and notice the side porch light is on. I walk to the living room and look out the window, seeing Danielle sitting, on the wooden porch swing, with blanket around her shoulders and a mug in her hands. 

I should go to bed. But I don't. 

When I walk outside, and around the corner, her head turns.

"What are you doing out here? It's late." I say and she shrugs. 

"Just sitting here. Enjoying the quiet." she says. 

I look out over the yard, the zap of lightening bugs sparking quick flashes of light all over the field to the side. I look back to Daniella, who is just starring out at the yard, one foot lifted up on the seat, her chin perched on her knee as she hugs her leg. 

"Can I join you?" I ask and she turns her head, a small smile on her face, as if she's grateful I asked. She nods. 

"Of course. It's your porch afterall." she says and I notice the faint teasing tone. 

"Is that you joking with me?" I ask as I walk over. 

She smiles. "Trying to." 

I sit down on the other side of the swing as she scoots over. Sighing as I sit down. 

I see her eyeing the bottle of whiskey in my hand. 

"I'm not an alcoholic." I say and she lifts her eyes to mine, her leg that was perched up , slides down, both feet to the floor of the porch as she wraps her blanket tighter around her shoulders. 

"Didnt say you were." she says. 

"You're looking at the bottle." I say. 

She shrugs. "Never had whiskey." 

"You're twenty, you shouldnt have had any of it." I say. 

She gives me a look and a little eyeroll. 

"When is the first time you had a drink?" she asks. 

I huff a laugh. 

"Thirteen. My father beat my ass for it too" I say and she laughs a little bit, and reaches over, holding out her hand. 

I look at it. Then at her. She nods to the bottle. 

"You sure about that?" I ask her. 

she laughs. 

"No, not really." she reaches over further and takes it. 

" Are you supposed to drink in front of your employer?" I ask. 

She gives a little smirk. "Close your eyes." 

I feel a small smile tug at my lips. I close them. 

A few seconds later I hear a cough, opening my eyes, finding her wiping her wet lips with the back of her hand. 

"God thats awful" she says coughing, and making a face. 

I laugh and go to grab the bottle and she shakes her head, pulling the bottle back. 

"You're done." I say. 

She pinches her brows. 

"One more" she says. 

I pull my hand back. 

"Fine, but I get to watch this time." I say and she look at me, and then looks down and I swear she blushes. 

But maybe it just the whiskey flushing her cheeks. 

She lifts the bottle and I watch, licking my lips as it presses to her mouth and she tilts the bottle up and her head back. I watch her eyes shut and her throat move as she takes a few quick pulls and then her mouth is open, and her face is all screwed up and she shakes her head and I can't help but laugh. 

I reach over for the bottle. she willingly hands it over this time. 

"How do you drink that stuff?" she asks , as she turns slightly toward me. 

I shrug. 

"It's terrible." she says. 

I laugh. "It does what it needs to." 

"And whats that?" she asks. "Put hair on your chest?" 

I turn my head and laugh slightly. 

"Let's hope not." I say looking down briefly and then back up. 

She tucks her lower lip inside of her mouth biting on it and then slowly pulls the blanket around her. 

"It helps clear all the bad shit out of your head." I say and she looks back up at me. 

I look at her lip as it uncurls from between her teeth, my eyes on it. Wanting to taste her whiskey flavored lips. 

I look away and out over the yard. 

"What bad shit?" she asks. 

"The things I shouldnt think.  Feelings I shouldnt feel." I say. 

"Like?" she asks. 

I turn my head to look at her. 

"anger." I say. 

Watching her eyes look right into mine. 

"What are you angry about?" she ask quietly. 

"A lot of things." I say.

"Tell me three of them." she says and lifts her elbow to the back of the swing and props the side of her head against her hand as she looks at me. I turn slightly. 

"Alright." I say, pouring myself some whiskey into the glass, but she takes it as its poured, and lifts it to her mouth. I smirk slightly as she takes a big drink of it, her reaction less sever but she still cringes. 

I take the glass back gently and she hands it over as I lift the glass and take a long drink. 

"I'm angry that she's sick." I say. 

She takes the glass, I watch her fingers brush mine and then lift the glass, and take another sip. Watching her as she licks those damn lips again. 

"I'm angry that she's giving up on treatments." I say. 

"Angry that my four kids wont have a mother by the end of this year." I say, feeling my emotions go haywire. Sadness, anger, fear, all of it crashing around in my head and my heart. 

"Give me three more." she says, and I watch her take another sip. 

"I'm angry that I'm a bad husband." I say and she pinches her brows. 

"Angry that my wife is sick and ..." I stop myself, shaking my head. 

"and what?" she asks.

"It's selfish." I say. 

"so what? We're all selfish sometimes. Tell me." she says and hands me back the glass, I take the last sip. 

"I havent had sex in so god damn long." I admit and lean my head back, rubbing my hand over my face. 

"My fucking wife is dying, and I'm worried about not being able to fuck her." I say and then look at her. Her face is unchanged. 

"You think you're a bad husband for still wanting to have sex with her?" she asks. 

I shake my head. 

"I'm a bad husband, because I know I can't have sex with her...so I think about having it with someone else." I say 

Her brows lift slightly. 

"Oh." she says. "well...im sure youre not the only man who has those kind of thoughts." she says, trying to make me feel better. 

"Don't do that, just say I'm a fucking bastard." I say and lean my head back. 

"I'm not gonna say that, because ive never been through it. But im sure, men and women who have sick partners, tend to fantasize. I mean, even people with healthy partners probably do it." she shrugs. 

"It's just in your head, it's not like you're cheating on her. You're always here. Working or taking care of the kids, or taking care of her. " she says. 

"It's not that" I say. 

"It's not that I just fantasize about it." I say. 

"It's about WHO I fantasize about." I tell her and she looks at me. Her cheeks are flushed, so is her neck  and the part of her upper chest that is exposed. 

"Oh..." she says , and Im not sure she gets it, not sure she understands what Im trying to convey with my eyes. 

"Ask me what else makes me angry." I say, and she swallows. 

"What else makes you angry?" she asks softly, as her eyes go from my eyes to my lips, and i see the difference in her breathing and the way her tongue passes along her lips. 

"I'm angry that I can't kiss you right now." I tell her and listen to her breath hitch and she exhales shakily. 

"Oh." she says and I watch her shiver, the blanket, slipping off her shoulder. I reach over slowly, her eyes following my hand as I slide my hand from her shoulder, down her arm slowly, my eyes watching her nipples tighten against her loose pale blue sleep tank top. I grab the blanket with my fingers, and slide it back up slowly, leaning over. I place my mouth to her shoulder. 

It's inappropriate, and so is admitting to her that I want to kiss her. 

I pull the blanket over the soft skin I just had my lips on, and my mouth, so near to her neck, her collar bone. 

I place my lips on her collar bone neck as she inhales sharply, not saying a word, but breathing like she wants more. 

I kiss her at the base of her neck next, my mouth there, lingering, as I let my tongue taste her skin, and suck on it gently. The tiniest gasp coming from her as the blanket slips from her shoulders again. 

"Carson" she she breathes my name, barely audible. 

I kiss up her neck. 

"We should...we should go inside..you should..go to bed, and i should...go to mine" she says and gasps with a little exhaling moan as kiss below her ear. 

"The only reason i've been short with you Daniella.." I whisper in her ear, as I slide my hand down her arm. 

"Is because I cant stop wanting to fuck you" I say bluntly and she grabs my shirt as I kiss her neck and suck at her skin, groaning as she whimpers at my confession. 

"this is ...oh god, this is wrong" she breathes and I groan. 

"I want to fuck you" I groan in her ear. 

"So god damn bad"I growl and pull onto me, the swing creaking as she gasps , and settles into my lap, the blanket falling to the floor. 

"Do you want it?" I ask her. 

I watch her face as she battles with her answer. 

"Dont think , just answer..do you want to fuck me?" I ask.

She nods. "Yes" she keeps nodding and I grab her face and pull her mouth to mine. A surprised squeak and moan from her mouth and into mine as I groan, tasting her mouth, my whiskey on her tongue and lips as our mouths make one of first fucking mistakes, giving into my fucking fantasy.