EroticReverie

Valentina

I was gone from Bane's , and my parents house in the guest house in the back of his yard before he'd even woken up the next morning. I'd packed a suitcase of clothes, and a small box of my things and was on a bus to my Aunt and Uncle's house early the next morning. 

I didn't tell my parents what I'd witnessed. They loved Bane. They cared for him. And even though I shouldn't give a shit, I did. So I let them believe it was just me being an emotional teenager, and needing time after what happened. I made them promise not tell him where I went. 

The texts and calls started to come in that afternoon. From not just him but Kevin and Aiden too, and Francis. I sobbed in my bedroom and my aunt and uncles place for days. I only texted back Francis, telling her I was fine. Not where I was, and not because I didn't trust her. But because I didn't trust Bane to not try to bribe it out of her, or steal her phone for information about where I went. 

For weeks, for months, Bane texted me, called me, and the only lie I'd told Francis was that I never listened to them, or read them. But I had read every single one. 

I never asked her about him when we texted or talked on the phone. But I could tell there were things she wanted to say but wouldnt, and that's why she was the only one I would talk to. Kevin and Aiden understood why I couldnt talk to them, they were too close to him. 

He was still calling and texting everyday. The numbers had dwindled, but he was still waiting on me to respond, still trying.  Some of the calls were drunken ones, and I'd cry listening to them. Each of them saved in my phone. Confessions of how wrong he was, how he knew I'd never take him back, that I shouldnt, but telling me he needed me to know he was sorry.  Some were just "Remember that time..." and he'd just tell me a story of a time before we got together, something I'd said that made him laugh, or something he did that pissed me off, or something I'd done for him, or said to him that made him realize he was "in love" with me. 

I'd finished my senior year, graduating at the new school I was at. My graduation day was the same as theirs, so when I'd called Francis to congradulate her on her graduation, my heart stops when I hear him in the background.

"Is that her?" he asks Francis. 

"No." she says in a voice that's clearly meant to convince him it's not me, but Francis is a terrible liar and I hear her squeal as Bane must snatch her phone, cause his voice is clear as it comes over the line. 

"Valentine?" he asks, and his voice sounds like I remember it, it's only been months, but it feels like forever. 

I can hear Aiden arguing with Francis in the background about just letting him try to talk to me. 

"Baby..." he says and I squeeze my eyes shut. 

"Fuck..just let me hear your voice." he says and his voice is strangled. 

I don't speak. I don't say anything. 

"I love you." he says. "I love you so fucking much." 

"I don't know if you've listened to any of my voice mails, or read any of my texts, but I'm so fucking sorry. I love you, I will always love you. I don't deserve you or your forgiveness..I know that...fuck I know that...just say something...fuck...anything, please" he pleads and I can hear the crack in his voice and he's crying on the end. 

"I'll never forgive myself" he says and I bite my lips together, and lift the mouth piece from my mouth up above my head so I can take a steadying breath, but keep my ear to the phone as he goes on. 

"I'll never love anyone but you." he says. "I know what I did hurt you...not just ..the cheating...but...I wasn't there for you...I should have been....i'm so fucking sorry" he says and he's full on sobbing, blubbering into the phone. 

I still say nothing. But I listen, because I was a glutton for punishment. And even though I knew I couldnt be with him, I loved to listen to his voice, even when it was full of sobs and sniffles. I loved him still. Which is why I didn't trust myself to ever respond, to talk to him even now. Because I knew I'd let him try to make it better. I'd let him come here, and hold me. I'd let him kiss me if he was near, I'd let him do anything he wanted, because even though he fucking butchered my heart and my entire fucking soul, I still fucking loved him. 

"I miss you" he says. He growls through his tears. "I hate myself so fucking much for what I did....and for what i didnt do...i don't deserve you...but....you have to know....i want you back Valentine. I want us back." he says and I can picture him on the other end of the phone. His face, his gorgeous handsome face, covered in tears. 

"Just....let me come to you...fuck..I just need to see you." he says. 

"I fucking love you" he says into the phone. "I love you so fucking much" 

My chest shakes with silent sobs, as tears roll down my cheeks, because I believed him. I believed he loved me. But it didnt erase the hurt of him not being there when I needed him most, and then him cheating on me. 

"please" his voices is soft and cracked. 

"Please Valentine, just let me see you again. I miss you so fucking much." he says and I've heard enough, and don't think I can trust myself not to break, so I pull the phone away from my ear, and end the call. 

.....And that's the last time I hear his voice, for another two years.

That day I'd changed my number. Deleted all forms of social media and made myself dissappear from Bane's life. 

----

Two Years Later....

"You have to come!" Francis says over the phone as I hold it to my ear while waiting in the line at Starbucks. 

Of course I have to go. I wouldn't miss it. But my hesitation to returning home, to watch her and Aiden get married , isn't about not coming, it's just knowing what I have to face going back there. 

"You know I'll come." I say, and she squeals. 

"Is it too much to ask you to be my maid of honor?!" she says and I laugh. 

"Bitch, I'd be pissed if you didn't." I tease and she squeals. 

We talk about her fast tracked wedding, how it's just TWO months away, and they're having a "small" wedding, which in rich people terms, means, still fucking big. 

I've kept in contact only with Francis, and my number is the only secret she keeps from Aiden. He respectfully doesn't ask for it either, even though Francis informed me only months ago, that Bane still asks if he's ever spoken to me. That he still asks Francis how I'm doing.  She always tells him I'm doing great, that I'm doing wonderful, that I'm happy.  And for the most part, at least right now, it's true. 

I'm going to school in New York, and live in a tiny ass fucking apartment big, about the size of a closet, but being in New York, I'm only home when I'm sleeping. There's too much to do, and I've made too many friends to ever be bored. 

"So will you be bringing a plus one?" she asks. 

I laugh and smile as I move forward in the line. 

"I told you, I don't have time for a boyfriend." I tell her. Which is true, but also, while it's unspoken, we both know it's not the full truth. That even two years hasn't been enough time for me to completely get over Bane. There's days where I've convinced myself I'm not still in love with him. Then there's days, I pull out my laptop and stalker search his profiles just so I can stare at him and cry my eyes out. Yes, those days usualy coincide with my period coming, but it didnt make me feel any less pathetic. 

"Well, whatever...find one...and bring him." she says and I laugh. 

"Uh huh, okay mom." I say playfully. 

"Listen, I gotta go...I'm next up... love you...call you later." I say

"Okayyyyyy, fiiiiine, love you too" she says and I smile. 

"Bye" I say.

"Bye V" she says and we hang up.

-----

Two months later...

I do my best to do all of my maid of honor duties over the next few months via skype and face time and talking with her other bridesmaids. 

I'm set to get on a plane, and go home. Which thankfully, won't be the house I lived in when I left. Since then my parents have moved into a really nice small house, my mom assures me they can afford it when I keep asking if they're alright money wise. Apparently Bane gave them a generous severance when they told him they had to quit. I wasn't mad at Bane for giving them a generous amount of money. Because they fucking deserved it. They'd worked hard for his family, they deserved whatever he gave them, though I never asked how much it was. 

Once I land in Cali, I run to my mom and dad waiting for me outside the airport, tears in my eyes, having not seen them since Christmas when they came to New York. 

My mother has tears in her eyes, my dad does too, all of us smiling, crying messes.

We talk in the car on the way back, they've bought themselves a really nice suv , nothing too fancy, but better than the old tan beat up four door sedan they had when I was in highschool. 

My dad carries in my suitcase , my mother holding my hand patting it as we walk into the house. It's the first time I've been in it and while it's small, it's really nice, and they even have a nice backyard and a small in ground pool. I smile, happy for them to have the kind of home they'd worked hard for and always wanted. 

I walk around and I smile when In the kitchen, seeing all of the magnets that we've always had on our fridge, still on the new stainless steel one they had now. But my heart stops when I see a newspaper clipping. I lump in my throat as I look at the smiling, handsome man in the photo shaking a womans hand, and I can't even read what the article is about, all I can do is stare at his face. That smile. 

"Oh." my mother says noticing where my eyes have landed and she goes to reach and take it off. 

I lift my hand and move hers away, and then read the headline. "What's this?" I ask softly and I don't look at either of my parents as they watch me read the title, tears immediately filling my eyes.

"Anonymous Donor To Several Women's Relief Charities Found!" It says and I scan the article. 

"Someone paid someone else off to leak where the funds had come from." My mother says. 

I read every word of the article. 

"Several greatful employees of the non profits convinced Mister Banks to come forward. We believe putting a face to the generosity, will encourage others to get behind more non profits, he's an angel to us." Gretta VanBuren says in the article. 

Millions of dollars. He donated millions of dollars. Women's shelters, programs that helped sexually abused women and children, charities that worked to speak out about sexual and domestic abuse. He donated to companies that were inventing new ways to prevent sexual attacks on women. Donated the money to safety apps, and saftey weapons, small businesses who made items for women to carry with them, businesses who created alarms for women to carry. He also invested in a start up company, that was working to get women justice. Finding them good lawyers, and all on his dime. Apparently on Aiden and Kevin's dime too. It shows their names as well as part of the investors on the company that works to defend the women willing to speak out. 

"Sweetheart.." my father says. 

I shake my head. Tears rolling down my eyes. 

"I need a minute." I choke, and find their bathroom and close the door and sink to the floor , gripping the article in my hands as I look at Bane. At what he's done. 

I sniffle, pulling my phone out of my pocket and I dial Francis. 

"Hey!" she answers. And I hate myself for calling her, not thinking, this was the week of her wedding, and I was calling to what? Cry to her? Make it about me?

I take a moment to make myself stop crying.

"V? You there?" she says. 

"Hey" I say my voice shaking.

"V...what's wrong?" she says, her cheery voice going into concerned mode. 

"Nothing...sorry, I'm just..I hit my fucking toe on the door" I say. 

Silence.

"When did we start lying to each other?" she asks. 

I sigh. 

"I wasnt thinking...I called you...it's your wedding week..and I-"

"Oh stop..Stop it right now..don't insult me like that." she says. 

"I will kick your fuckin ass girl." she says, making me laugh through tears. 

"Tell me what's wrong. Right now." she demands and I blubber like an idiot. 

"I still love him." I croak. 

"Oh babe..." she says. "Tell me something I don't know." she adds. 

"You need me to come to you?" she asks. "Sounds like you need a hug." she says and I cry. 

"Yes please" I say. 

"Say no more. I'll be there in thirty."