EroticReverie

Valentine

While waiting for Francis to arrive, I sit with my parents. 

They tell me everything. 

When I left Bane threw party after party, getting drunk night after night. 

Then a few months into my leaving...he'd just stopped. 

He'd came to them. Told them what happened , why I left. 

My mother tells me that my father yelled at him, threatened his life. I look over to my father and he doesn't look proud of himself but his brows pinch, his lips tightening like he's still mad for me. And I reach over the table and grab his hand, he sighs when I squeeze it. 

My mother had apparently calmed him down enough, and he told them his plan. 

To stay sober. To win me back. My parents quit that very night, and moved out a week later. 

Bane had given them half a million dollars. The news of that doesn't shock me. I was expecting it to be a ridiculous amount. Guilt money. But still, they deserved every penny. 

Apparently, he'd started working as a volunteer for one of the local womens shelters not too long after. 

The stories on the news of the large donations, they say they knew it was him all along. But he'd never brought it up when he'd talk to them. The house they lived in, he'd paid off without their permission. Again, they deserved it. My mother had to convince my father not to reject the act of kindness. Convinced him that Bane was trying to right by me. By them. Taking care of them, and she told him how mad I'd be if I found out they rejected it. My mother knew me too well. 

Knowing that Bane had tried to stay anonymous, and had for a little over a year, was what made my resolve of never speaking to him ever again crack.  They show me several other articles of him, some with pictures, others without. Apparently he'd started speaking to high school kids too, about drinking. He was never an alcoholic. I knew that, he knew that. But he also knew that it obviously didn't make for good choices, that some of the worst mistakes were made when you werent sober. He'd donated money to schools too, and donated to rehabs that focused soley on teens, wehter for drinking or other substance abuse. 

They told me didn't pester them, but would stop by the house, bringing either food, or flowerrs for my mother, and always asking "How is she?" "Tell her I said hello."  Even though he know they wouldn't. But yet he'd come every couple of days, and still did. I swallow, my skin pricking with goosebumps when I think about the fact he could possibly show up at any moment. 

The doorbell rings and I almost vomit. But then remember Francis and go to the door. As soon as I open the door she throws her arms around me. 

"Biiiiiitch!" she says endearingly and then sees my parents as she hugs me and goes still. 

"Oh I mean.. V!" she says and I laugh. I turn to my parents, as we're both still hugging. 

"Hey Miss S, Mister S" she says and they say hello, my father smiling and my mother shaking her head but hiding her smile. 

I let her hug my parents, and then we go out back and sit outside in two patio chairs. 

I tell her what my parents told me. 

"Yep" she says. "Yep" after everything say, confirming it all again. 

"you never told me." I say. 

She cocks a brow. 

"You specifically told me to NEVER tell you ANYTHING. So that's what I did. I kept my mouth shut V. I knew you were trying to move on, and I didn't want to be the person that made you go running back to his ass." she says. 

"I wanted you to be happy. You deserve to be fucking happy." she says and then pulls out a cigarette.

"You smoke?" I ask. 

She looks at me. 

"I'm stressed." she says narrowing her eyes. I smile and throw up my hands in surrender.

"No judgement." I say. 

She rolls her eyes. 

"You're totally judging." she says.

"Maybe a little." I admit and she smiles. 

"So...you think I shouldn't talk to him?" I ask.

She looks at me as she lights up her cigarette.

She exhales a plume of smoke. Then waves her hand through it. 

"Never said that." she says and takes another inhale. 

"But you just said.." I say

"I know what I said V." she glares daggers at me and I bite my lips. Because even when Francis was trying to be firm and tough, she was too innocent and sweet looking to ever be considered tough. 

"I just mean that .... I fucking hate him for what he did to you. Did then. Did now. " she says and I just look at her as she looks out over the pool. 

"What kind of friend would I be if I just threw you back into the arm of the guy who did that to you, just because he threw some fucking money at good causes?" she asks. 

"Like yeah, It's a totally fucking...good reason to give him a chance to fucking say his peace to you..but does he deserve it? I don't fucking know." she says. 

I trace my finger around on the glass table between us and just think. She's right. While I can admire him for what he did for my parents, as well as all the money he's donated to causes similar to what I went through...it didn't erase the pain I experienced. The pain i still felt deep down even if I wanted to move on. It was always there. 

"Is he seeing anyone?" I ask and she looks over and me, exhaling another drag. 

She narrows her eyes slightly. 

"Nope." she finally answers. 

"Oh." I say. 

I drum my nails on the table. And she lets out a big sigh and rolls her eyes. 

"Just ask me." she says. 

I look up. "Ask you what?" 

"Everything you've wanted to ask for the past two years. And if he HAS seen anyone since you left...because the answer to that is a big fat no." she says. 

God, my fucking heart. Fuck that stupid little thing in my chest for how fast it raced knowing he hadn't seen anyone since me. That didn't mean he hasn't slept with anyone since then though. 

I swallow and she sighs. 

"And from what I know, has been celibate since that fuckin night." she says. And look at her and blush, embarrassed by how well she knows me, ashamed that I'm so easily swayed by each piece of news I'm getting. 

"That son of a bitch." she shakes her head and takes another drag of her cigarette.

I just bite my lip and look out across the yard. 

"Do you think he has changed?" I ask. 

She turns her head to me when I turn mine to her. 

"Yes. I do." She takes another drag of her cigarette. 

"But I also think what he did what pretty fucking shitty. Like, doesnt deserve you or another fucking chance no matter what kind of shitty." she says and I nod and look back out over the yard.

"But..." she sighs and I look back to her. 

"I also think....we all do shit we regret. Would take back if we could. Things we beat ourselves up over....and....god, I cant believe i'm about to say this....but I know you already know it...and it doesnt fucking excuse what he did ..AT ALL" she says and I nod. "But...what happened to you V...it was so fucked up. So fucking fucked up. " she says and I see her mouth twist and her eyes start to shine with tears she's choking back. 

"Obviously...the worst was for you. What happened to you. But...fuck....I think the reason he was such a fucking asshole was because of how much he loved you...and that's some backwards ass bullshit...but...if i have to admit...if i had to put myself in his fucking shoes...he didnt handle his shit after what happened....having to fucking watch what happened to you....i think it just....I dont know....like watching that happen to someone you love...because I know he fucking loved you...fucking still does...but I just think he wasnt able to forgive himself. Whether you blamed him or not is irrelevant. Because he blamed himself, and I think he was just angry. I think he was punishing himself, but.....that fucking night...when he cheated....god. I wanted to murder him." she says and I nod. Cause I did too. I wanted to die along with him too. 

"I go back and forth on what advice to give you...for the past two years i've ping ponged back and forth for what i'd say if you ever asked about him, or if you found out about the charity shit and him bying your parents the house...and I don't know V...I really don't know...part of me says fuck him...he doesnt fucking deserve you...and part of me...I barely knew you back then...but I saw how happy you were, how happy you both were...even if it was for a short time...and..I want that for you...I want you to be happy again." she says, tears slipping down her cheeks. 

I reach over and grab her hand. 

"I love you." I tell her. 

She huffs and swipes her tears. 

"I love you too bitch." she says and I laugh as my own tears slip down my cheeks. 

"He hasnt fucking shut up about you coming for the wedding." she says slipping her hand from mind and rolling her eyes. 

"Augh he's so annoying" she says and I laugh and wipe my own tears. 

"When is she coming? Is she staying with her parents? Will she be there for the rehearsal dinner? Are we going to walk down the aisle together? Just let me call her. I should probably talk to her right? Do you think she'll still hate me? Is she bringing anyone?" she goes on and on with examples of his pestering and laugh and wipe tears from cheeks. 

"God, I have the urge to tell you to just end his misery, so you can end mine and Aiden's with his constant talk of you." she says. and I smile. 

"Makes me sick." she teases and I laugh, both of us still crying. 

"I don't know what to say to him." I tell her. 

She reaches over grabbing my hand. 

"Whatever the truth is" she says. 

I sigh. 

"But I swear to god , you better make that mother fucker sweat. Two years of pining isn't fucking long enough. Torture him. Tell him you're dating a doctor, that you're pregnant with twins." she says and I jerk my hand back.

"When did you get so vicious?" I ask and she laughs. 

She shrugs. "I've thought about telling him lies several times. Telling him you were in Italy, backpacking with a man you eloped to...that you were starting a family...just to hurt him back for you." she says. 

I fight a smile. "Well thank you for plotting your fantasy revenge for me. And also, thank you for not actually doing it." I say and she smiles and rolls her eyes. 

I sigh. 

"So?" she asks and I look at her. 

I cock my head. She rolls her eyes. 

"Obviously you have to talk to him at some point...cause he's gonna bombard you regardless the second he sees you at the rehersal dinner....so are you gonna let him attack you there, or are you gonna throw ole Bane a bone before that?" she asks and I laugh slightly and shrug. 

"Do you need his number or something?" she asks and I laugh and shake my head. 

"Augh, you have it memorized even after two years dont you?" she says and I laugh at her disgust. 

"I swear this little fucked up fairytale of yours, is some how still barf inducingly romantic in a fucked up way." she says. 

"Thanks" I say and she laughs. 

We sit outside for a few more hours and talk about all of us getting our nails done, the bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner, other events she planned for just me and her. Then she leaves, and a minute later she texts me. 

"I love you. I support your choice and whatever you do. And at the risk of being a shit friend, I vote you give him a second chance. Even though I still, really really hate him. Love you V." 

I smile at my phone and pull up a fresh text box.