EroticReverie

Kitty Lozano

I sit in his passenger seat, letting him hold my hand. I squeeze it slightly and then the light turns green and he's driving off towards my house.  Royce was never a dick to me, he hung out with some pretty douchey guys in shool, but I knew Royce wasn't like them. At least not really. That's why I'd cried when he'd broken the no ass play rule. That was a hard limit for me. If he knew why it was a hard limit, I know he never would have done it. I was frustrated with him, even though I knew he truly hadn't meant to hurt me. He'd broken a level of trust that I didn't even have with the guys I dated. I trusted Royce Vandenberg probably more than anyone else in my life, and he'd gone and done that. 

Of course I already forgave him, because I knew he wasn't intentionally being malicious, and Im sure he didnt truly expect I'd have that reaction, he probably thought it was more of a preference thing , than a hard limit. But after two years, of him never pushing that boundary, to just do it so out of the blue like that. It irritated me. I knew he was sorry, but I couldnt help but be angry with him.  I could explain to him why I had the reaction I did, or why it was a hard limit for me, but I didnt want to make him feel worse. Although, I did want him to understand the severity of what he'd done. But, that was too heavy for me and Royce, to go there, to share that with him. We didn't do heavy stuff, we didn't talk about our lives even though we both knew enough from just knowing each other over the years. I knew his mother was a pill popper, wine drinking trophy wife, and his father was an emotionally closed off prick. Just like he knew that my father was a drug addict and in prison, while my mother was working three jobs just to take care of me and my two younger brothers. We knew the basics of each others lives. But we didnt ever talk about the under the surface feelings that came along with our stations in life.  

He holds my hand the entire way to my house, and he doesn't say anything else. Neither do I. 

He pulls into the shitty uneven driveway to my house. It was small, and it was a far cry from his house that was essentially a mansion. My entire house could probably fit into just the entry way area of his home. 

He doesn't put the car in park, but keeps his foot on the break, and I slip my hand from his. Both of us staring down the narrow driveway that runs between my house and the one next door. I shift in my seat and look at him as I pick my back pack up off the floorboard and set it in my lap. 

"Are you coming in?" I ask him, as if it should be obvious that he was invited in. 

His brows pop in surprise, probably assuming i'd punish him for what he'd done, or not want to talk to him anymore.

"You, you want me to?" he asks. 

I nod once. "Yeah." 

"Okay." he says and I can tell that he's going to be awkward, can tell that he's going to act differently after my freak out. After fucking crying in front of him. Instead of admitting he hurt me, and hurt my feelings by breaking a part of my trust, I deflect the mood settling around us. 

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't need you to apologize anymore. I forgive you. Let's just pretend it never happened, and don't ever do it again." I say. 

He shakes his head, and nods it, unsure of what motion his head should be making. 

"Of course not. Okay, yeah. I'm sorry." he says and I cock my brow. 

"I said no more apologizing." I slightly tease him. 

"Right, yeah, i'm sorry" he winces and I bite my lip holding back a tiny laugh. 

Royce was 6'3" , with dark brown hair, brown eyes and had short hair that was buzzed on top and faded into a clean even closer cut as it went down. He also had short and clean cut facial hair, with sharp lines. He was the golden boy of our school and our town, but still had a slightly menacing look to him, yet...he was such an adorable teddy bear sometimes that it melted me a bit when he did things like over apologize.

"And if you ever tell anyone I cried, I'll deny it, and atattch cement blocks to your feet and throw you off a pier somewhere" I say, and he gives me a half smile. His eyes on me, the smile tell me thank you for not beating him over the head with what he did. But his eyes also convey a sort of pity in them, for the fact I refuse to talk to him about my feelings ever. 

"I'm a good swimmer." he says. I huff a laugh and roll my eyes. 

"That's what the cement blocks are for. " I say and he smiles. 

"You'd never do that to me." he says. 

I shove his shoulder. "Shut up. come on." 

I say avoiding the insinuation he laid out. That I cared about him to much to ever get rid of him. That I needed him too much. I jump out of the car in avoidance as he puts it in park and turns it off. 

He meets me at the front of his car as I walk around with my backpack. 

I point back to where he just walked from. 

"door is that way" I tease. 

"I know where the door is jerk" he says and lifts the strap of my back pack off my shoulder and takes it and I don't fight to keep in on, I let him take it and carry it for me, like he always did. Just another thing that made me melt a little with Royce. The simple manners and the small sweet things he did. He treated me like he'd treat any other girl. He didn't treat me like a slut (at least not outside of having sex), and he didn't make me feel like trash. Even if I was. 

We go into my empty house, my mother at one of her jobs, and my two brothers still at school. He closes the door behind him and then sets down my back pack as I walk over to the coffee table and pick up my pack of cigarettes and slip one out. 

I hear his small disapproving grunt and give him a look. 

"Fuck off." I say before he starts to lecture me about smoking, and I light the end and take an inhale and then walk through the house and to the back door, opening it. 

"You're teeth are gonna get yellow, and they're gonna fall out." he says and I flip him my middle finger as I take another drag as he steps outside with me in my tiny ass back yard. I sit down in one of the plastic chairs set on the "Patio" which is just a cement slab with a small metal grate table and two plastic chairs we got off the side of the road. 

He sits in the other and looks at me. 

"You're too pretty for that shit." he says. 

I roll my eyes. 

"You're gonna have one of those crusty old lady voices." he says and I fight a smile. 

"You don't think my voice would be sexy with a little rasp to it?" I joke, knowing my habit isn't a great one. 

"Let me have one." he says nodding the pack and the lighter I set on the small grate table, ignoring my poor joke. 

"No." I say when he reaches for them and I put my hand over them. 

"Why not? You smoke. Why can't I?" he says and goes to keep reaching and I pull them into my lap. 

"Because you're too pretty for it." I say with a little smirk and he narrows his eyes. 

"You're such a jerk." he says eyeing me and I smile. 

"do you have practice tonight?" I ask as I take another drag and he nods. 

"will you get in trouble for skipping?" I ask. 

He shrugs. "Maybe with coach. But not like i do it all the time." he says.

"Mmm, right, cause you're a good boy." I tease as I exhale. 

He lifts his middle finger to me. 

I pucker my lips at him and blow an air kiss and then take another drag of my cigarette. Each of giving each other little smiles and then I flick my cigarette into the coffee can on the ground with the rain water in it that me and mom use for our cigarette butts. 

"So what time do you have to leave here by?" I ask him. 

"Practice starts at four." he says. 

"So I get to keep you for three whole hours?" I say with a lift of my brow. 

"If you're nice to me. Yeah." he says and I chuckle a little. 

"Oh Im always nice to you Roycee baby" I flutter my lashes and he rolls his slightly. 

"Come on." I say and stand up and he gets up and follows me back inside. 

We walk to the small bathroom as I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste, knowing he won't kiss me if I taste like cigarettes. 

He leans in the narrow doorway and watches me as I brush my teeth and I just look at him with a little grin. It was easy to forgive Royce. It was easy to avoid thinking about what he'd done. Because I was too comfortable with him, I enjoyed his company too much, and he'd ended up being like a comfort piece to me. When he was around, shit just sucked a little less. 

I spit out my toothpaste and rinse my mouth and then wipe it with the back of my hand and walk over to him and push up on my tip toes as I place my hands on his chest. 

I exhale into his face with my mouth open. 

"How's my breath?" I ask with a smile as he just smiles at me slightly. 

"It's been better." he says and I roll my eyes. I grab a cheap body mist from the shelf over the toilet and give one spray to my hair and then he backs out of the doorway as I walk to him and he follows me to the basement door and down the rickety steps.

"I told you to fix this step." he says. 

"Yeah, i know." I say with a shrug. 

"Just let me do it." he says of the one that had a loose board. 

"No, it's fine. I'll do it." I say and he sighs. 

"Just let me fix the step before you or your brothers or your mom break your fuckin neck." he says, his brows pinched into a concerned scowl. 

I shrug. 

"Alright fine." I say, but only because he was right, and I didnt want my brothers or my mom to get hurt. 

We walk back up the stairs, and I find my dad's old tool box. With random screw and nails littered throughout along with the basic hammer, screwdrivers, wrenches and such. 

I watch him look at the tool box. 

"You need a better tool box." he says. 

"Mm." I hum, because I don't really care about what kind of tool box I have. 

"I'll bring mine over for you." he says. 

My brows pinch. "I dont need your tool box Royce." I say with a little laugh. 

"Every house needs a decent tool box." he says, begining one of his lectures. 

I cross my arms, and his mouth pauses. He sighs. 

"Whatever , I know you don't care, but Im bringing it over for you anyways." he says. 

I shrug. "You'll do whatever you want anyways, so im not gonna say no." I answer and at that the corner of his mouth lifts as he lifts up the tool box. 

"Like I'M the one who doesnt do what their told." he says.

"Mmmhmm." I add. 

"And how long have I asked you to fix that stair for?" he asks. 

A small smile comes to my face as I follow him back inside and down the rickety steps once more and he set the tool box down. 

"I believe it was ever since you first fucked me on that couch over there." I say pointing to the brown couch that we had our first time on. 

Now, the basement also had my bed and my other things in it, because id moved my room down here so the boys could each have their own room instead of sharing. 

He looks at me eye brow raised at the memory, a small smirk. 

"Exactly. So what's that...two years?" he asks. 

"Mm" I nod with a hum. 

"And you still havent fixed it." he says. 

"I couldnt with my sub par tool box." I say and he glares at me. I grin. 

"Brat." he shakes his head and then pulls out a hammer, and I watch him as he pulls out a screw driver, checking the stair in question. I just stand against the wall and watch him as he replaces a few screws, and honestly. I dont really pay attention, I just get stuck watching how his muscles flex in his arm as he twists the screw driver. It was oddly arousing to watch Royce Vandenberg to play mister man of the house for me, and do something that took care of me, and my brothers, and my mom. The feeling that flooded me was unwelcome as I thought about what an amazing husband he'd make to another girl someday. He wouldn't be mine. And the jealousy of that understanding, was what was unwelcome. But as with everything, I shove that feeling away and watch as he packs up the tools back into the tool box, grumbling at the shitty tool box like a grumpy old man and I smile watching him. He leaves it on the ground and stand up and I look at him. 

"Thanks." I say, but my teeth then clasp my lip as I bite down and look him up and down. 

"Mhm." he hums as he steps closer and he's clearly aware that I 've just been watching him , getting turned on by him the entire time, because he slips his hands to my waist as he dips his head down and brings his mouth to mine, and I feel my nipples tighten in my tank top under my hoodie as his soft groan vibrates my lips as he pushes them to my mouth. 

And just like that, we go back to where we left off in the Janitors closet before he'd made his mistake.