EroticReverie

Julien

She avoids me for the rest of the hour, I keep an eye on her, and as soon as the boat docks she's off running, and I push through the people at the exit and push my way through after her as she runs down the wooden dock, taking her shoes off, holding them and hitching her dress up as she runs full speed and I have to fucking chase her ass. 

I don't care she's making a scene, all I care about is catching her, cause all I can think about is when I thought she'd fucking left me before and I fucking lost it. 

I catch up to her, snagging her arm and she wails. 

"Let go of me!" she screams. "Help! Help me!" she screams. 

"God damnit Jenna" I growl and pick her up and throw her right over my shoulder making her drop her shoes and I carry her through the parking lot as she screams bloody murder. Nobody fucking comes to her aide, because they all know me. they wouldn't dare. 

Her fists wail down over my back and I open the fucking car on the passenger side and throw her in the seat, shoving her into it. Her legs kick, her hands slap me several times. 

"I cant fucking stand you!" she screams. "You fucking bastard! Go fuck your wife!" she screams and I huff ass I pull the seat belt over her and snap it in place. 

"Will you just fucking sit still for christs sake!" I yell at her and she slaps my face again. 

I take a deep breath and I look at her. 

"Are you fucking done?" I ask her as I tug the seatbelt making sure its locked in.

"Not even fucking close." she growls at me. 

"Fan fucking tastic. Can't wait for more." I say and pull out of the car and slam the fucking door, and she yells at me through the window and I walk around and get in my side. 

I start the car and peel out of the fucking spot. 

"Drive us off the fucking pier!" she screams. 

"Don't be fucking dramatic Jenna" I raise my voice to her. 

God, I loved this shit. I didnt like the part where she ran, but god I fucking loved fighting with her. I loved the making up and the fairytale shit in between. I loved the sweet side of her, and this crazy fucking side too. All of it. Every fucking second of it. 

Maybe I pushed too fucking hard for her to fuck Alec. But she fucking loved it, she knows she did. THAT is why she's pissed. Because it makes her feel guilty, at least that's my fucking guess. I know she didn't fucking enjoy him more than me, I know her, and I know that she was fucking faking it just to try and piss me off. I know her body, her faces, and she's not as good at faking it as she fucking thinks she is. 

"I can't wait to get out of your fucking house" she mutters ten minutes into the drive. 

"You're not fucking going anywhere." I bite out. 

"Watch me Julien, fucking watch me!" she says and turns and starts hitting me. 

"Im fucking driving!" I yell.

"I dont fucking care! I hope you fucking crash this fucking car!" she screams, continuing to hit, me her hands going for the wheel. 

"Jenna!" I go to move my arm, to shove her to the side, and instead I fucking pop her in the fucking side of the face hard with my elbow. Her hands fly up to her face and I curse, knowing I've accidentally hurt her as she cries and I pull over and park the car, undoing my seatbelt. 

I turn in my seat as she cries, reaching over to take her face in my hands and she jerks her face away.

"baby, fucking stop" I say and grab her face and push her hair out of her face and then brush my thumb over her cheek. 

"Where'd I get you? Here?" I ask and look at the red along her cheekbone.

"Just leave me alone" she sniffles and reaches up, she grabs my hands and pushes them away calmly and turns in her seat. 

"Take me home." she says looking out her window. 

-----

There's not a single word spoken the rest of the way home as guilt eats away at me and I follow behind her, unlocking the door to our place after getting off the elevator. 

She walks in, her bare feet slapping against the floor as she just walks away through the house. 

"Please don't leave." I say loud enough for her to hear. 

She stops, and doesn't turn around. 

"I don't want to be here anymore." she says calmly. 

"That's not true." I say to her back. 

She keeps walking.

"Jenna, talk to me." I say following after her. 

"Julien leave me alone, please" she says and she's not yelling and I follow her to the bedroom where she goes to the closet. I wince when I see the belt on the floor from earlier and she walks over to the part of the closet that has the cheaper clothes. 

Starting to take them off the hangers. 

I walk over, and I drop to my fucking knees, wrapping my arms around her legs and burying my head in the side of her hip.

"I'm sorry, don't fucking go, baby, please" I grovel. 

"Stop it Julien" she says and shoves at my hands, but I grab hers and I pull her down to the floor with me and I pull her into me as she tries to get away. 

"Stop!" she screams. 

"Tell me why you hated it, tell me why" I say and she shoves my arms off her. 

"because Julien!" 

"I don't want anyone else! I want YOU!" she yells at me. 

"And i want you to want me!" she yells at me as she stands and I get up. 

"I DO fucking want you, I fucking love you" I tell her. 

"I want you to want me so fucking bad that you cant fucking stand the thought of someone else touching me. I want you to want me as much as I fucking want you, cause god, the fucking thought of you with anyone else!" she screams as her eyes fill with tears. 

Her hands lift to her chest, over her heart. 

"It fucking kills me." she says. 

"And im not important to you the way you are to me, Im finally able to admit that I fucking love you and say it out loud and you throw me like a fucking bone to your friend to fuck." she says. 

"Jenna, that's not what i-"

"THATS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!" she yells at me. 

"You make me think you fucking cant live without me  and then you go and treat me like that....with him...with your fucking business partners...im just a fucking prop for you Julien. You dont ACTUALLY love me. You love that I do whatever the fuck you tell me to. You love that Im some poor fucking girl that you can dress up and play with and make me a fucking whore when you please, tell me you love me just to fucking make think this is something else, I'm so fucking stupid" she cries and turns and starts to grab more clothes. 

"You know that's not true." I say and reach over taking the hangers, and hanging her shit back up. 

"IT IS" she yells and turns , grabbing the shit I hung back up. 

"Jenna...I was a fucking dick tonight. I know that. I..I have to be honest and say I really didnt think you'd fucking react this way. I thought it was just...us. Our fun, fucked up fantasies, and god. Me wanting to watch you with another man, has nothing to fucking do with not fucking being crazy about you. I wont even lie and say , I didnt fucking enjoy it at first. Cause I fucking did. But the other part of me, that part you say you want in me...that wants you and loves you so fucking bad, the second you stopped looking at me. I wanted to rip him off you and throw him off the fucking boat. While still at the same fucking time, being so fucking turned on. And I swear to god, the fact it turns me on to watch you fucking torture me, has NOTHING to do with how much i need you. You drive me fucking crazy. I fucking love you more than anything in this fucking world." I say and grab her face as she keeps pulling shit off the hangers. 

"If you dont want that part of me...that filthy fucking part of me that gets off on that....then fine....i'll never even fucking mention it again." I say. 

She shakes her head and shoves my hands away. 

I don't know how else to describe it to her, we've fucking talked about it. Her watching me with someone else was a hard no. Something she tried. Hated, and never wanted to do again. We talked about the reverse , and she was stuck in the mind set that it meant we werent serious if I wanted to see her with someone else. I couldnt explain it to someone who didnt share the same kink of watching their partner with someone else.  

I walk into the bedroom and she shuffles around in the closet. I sit on the bed. Watching her as she brings arms full of the cheaper clothes out of the closet.

"I'll pay you back for whatever I take." she says.

"Jenna. I don't want this. Don't fucking do this." I say.

"Well I didnt want my boyfriend to let a stranger make me feel like a whore and then fuck me like one, but guess we all dont get what we want" 

"I thought you would like it, I swear I thought-"

"I DID!" she yells. 

"I fucking did like it Julien! And it made me fucking sick!" she throws the clothes down on the bed. 

"Why?!" I ask. 

"Because he wasnt you!" she yells. "what dont you fucking understand!?" 

"I dont want to enjoy sex with anyone but fucking YOU.. I LOVE YOU...NOT HIM.. not anyone fucking else! And the fact that it felt good, that I could have fucking let him fuck me all night after he was inside me. I HATED IT. Cause it made me the fucking whore that you want me to be" 

"Liking it doesnt make you a whore Jenna" I argue. 

"Im not arguing with you anymore!" she yells. 

"then stop fucking arguing, and stop pulling shit out of the closet and lets fucking go to bed" I say and she huffs.

She drags a suitcase out and throws it on the bed.

"I dont want you anymore!" she screams after throwing the clothes in a messy heap into the suitcase. 

"I dont fucking want this!" she sobs and walks back into the closet. I listen to her as she cries in the closet and I look at her suitcase. The pile of clothes and I wonder if I'm fucking destroying her. If we're the match I thought we were. 

I walk over to the side of the room, and lift open the carved wooden box sitting on the table and pull out a smaller box. I open it. Look at the diamond. Walk over to her suitcase. Set it ontop of the pile in it's box and leave the room. 

I didn't know how else to explain how fucking serious I was about us. Or how much I loved her. Or how to make her believe me. So, leaving the ring there , in it's box open, was the only physical proof I had of my feelings, to show her. That I was all fucking in, even if I was going to fuck up along the way.