EroticReverie

Cherlynn

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Hunter says as we all sit at the dining room table down stairs and I feel like I’m going to throw up when Maddox and Zane tell us what the hackers were able to find on my step fathers computer.

“Nobody is killing anybody. No matter how much he deserves it.” Zane interjects. 

Thousands of photos and not just of me were found on his computer. Video of him sneaking into my room and jerking off over me. Touching me. All while I slept. My stomach turns and I shift in my seat as I shake with outrage, with the feeling of being so fucking dumb and violated. How had I not known? I should’ve at least expected it with the times he’d touched me and tried to coax me into doing things with him , without ever actually saying what he wanted. Kissing me. Bile rises in my stomach. I fly from my seat , making it just in time to reach the bathroom toilet and spilling burning acid and water into the toilet.  Nothing but liquid coming up as I wretch again and again. 

Maddox is behind me, holding my hair as I shake with sobs. As I think about who those other girls were. Video of him fucking girls of questionable age. Thousands of photos of teenage girls doing things with older men, or simply photos of them posing in lingerie or in the nude. Some of them weren’t even questionable Maddox had said. They were too fucking young. I sob into the toilet my stomach turning over and over. 

“Breathe baby” Maddox whispers as he holds my hair. 

Now I know where Maddox’s rage upstairs had really come from. He’d had to watch those videos. See those pictures. He wasn’t just angry for me, but for all of the teenagers, all of the fucking kids that went through the same exact thing he did. 

“I didn’t know” I sob. 

“Of course you didn’t know” he says and strokes my hair and helps me up when my stomach can’t heave anything else up. He helps me stand and I rinse my mouth out at the sink. Brushing my teeth and splashing water on my face.  Then Maddox turns me to him and holds me against his chest as I hold onto him tightly. 

What happened upstairs is already forgotten as he hushes me calmly and holds me so close, like he’s never letting go of me. 

Back at the dining room table , he pulls me into his lap and rubs my back with one hand. His other hand on my thigh and rubbing small circles with his thumb on my skin and the three of the discuss what to do. 

“We don’t know how far this goes. We don’t know how he gets these girls. And we have to consider its more than just fucking illegal porn or him raping girls. We have to consider that these girls may be part of trafficking. We have to let actual professionals investigate him. We can’t just fucking kill him because If we do, it doesn’t stop those girls from being continuously abused by other men. There’s gotta be a circle he’s in, there has to be others and we need to take out as many of the fucks as we can.” Maddox says to the others and I just sit there. Imagining those poor girls, imagining how much worse it could have been for myself. 

“We need to be smart. We can’t let him know or even think that we know what he’s doing. He’s smart. The hackers had a hell of a time getting into his shit, and he could erase all of it, destroy most of the evidence and get rid of it before we’re able to get it to the FBI, or who the fuck ever handles this shit.” Zane says. 

I can feel Maddox shaking slightly. He wants to kill my step father just as much as Hunter. I can feel it. The way he’s boiling with rage and the same gut wrenching sickness of knowing there’s people like him everywhere. 

“We already have Jason , one of the hackers reporting it, he actually has a cousin who not only works with the FBI, but is a..sort of serve your own justice kind of guy. He’s taken care of two prominent rings of sex traffickers by himself with a group he works with. 

“We’re gonna take care of him. And if for some reason the law doesn’t serve that fucker justice, then…then we’ll do what we have to do. And Jason’s cousin already has him on his list.  So there’s no way he’s fucking getting away with it.  But if we’re not smart , if we just attack or kill him, that fraises a flag to anyone else involved with him. It gives them the opportunity to cover their shit up. We don’t want that.” Zane says and Hunter is still tight jawed and his leg is bouncing furiously under the table. 

His eyes look up at me and for the first time. I see it. His eyes have an unspoken apology in them. I don’t need him to say it. But he does. 

“I’m sorry” he says and my heart twists and my throat closes up as he speaks with a shaky voice. I nod once. It even stuns Maddox and Zane. And I don’t believe for a second this fixes things between me and him. But for the first time I think he realizes I was never the slut he thought I was. That I was a victim. And we all knew now,  that I wasn’t the only one. That his father was sick and far more twisted than just a man obsessed with his step daughter. 

—-

The next few days of school and life in general have me on edge. Wondering what my step father is doing. If he’s still watching me.No more texts have come through to my phone , no more threatening emails and part of me wonders if he’s onto us. If he knows that we know it’s him. 

But sitting at dinner with the guys, my phone sounds with an email notification and everyone looks at me as I lift it with shaky hands. We’ve been waiting for something from him. Knowing that when someone breaks into your home and leaves the mess and threat he did. That it wouldn’t be long before he needed to do more. 

“You think they can keep you from me? You think you’re safe from the things I have planned for you? You will be mine, and I will make you regret being their fucking whore you stupid cunt.”

I slip the phone to Zane beside me and he picks it up reading it. His lips tightening. The phone is passed to Maddox and then to Hunter, who promptly flies out of his seat. 

“SIT DOWN” Maddox growls at him. “Sit the fuck down!” 

Hunter is surprisingly having the hardest time out of all of us at holding back. At waiting for “the system” to do its job. You would think reporting someone who has pornography of underage girls , and at the amount that was found, they’d just barge into his million dollar home and throw him in a cell. But apparently they don’t. They too know there’s more men and women involved that just my step father. That where there’s one, there’s dozens, hundreds involved at some level. 

——

I slip into bed , between Maddox and Zane, Hunter hasn’t touched me or even tried to since we found out about his father, and Maddox and Zane haven’t touched me or had sex with me either. Which I was thankful for. Because while I needed them, I also needed to get through the shock of what we’d learned. Needed space to breathe and process and cry and cry and cry.  

I face Zane , curling up into him, Maddox at my back. Both of the sandwiching me between them. Protectors.  And isn’t that funny. The guys who terrorized me were now the ones willing to protect me at any cost. 

Maddox inhales my hair as his hand rests on my upper thigh, Zane’s hand on my waist as he kisses my forehead. Maddox apologized for the way he acted when he’d found me in his bed with Hunter. But I knew these men better than I knew myself. I knew as soon as he told me what they’d found that his anger may have been slightly about me and Hunter, but most of it was the fact he’d had to uncover and see the proof that my step father had made me part of his sick dealings. 

We learned that the videos and pictures he’d taken of me had been sent to hundreds of different people from the dark web. Had learned that there were offers for him to sell me. To fucking sell a human being. Thankfully, he was too fucking obsessed with my virginity to let someone else take it. How he even let me leave that house surprised all of us. How he hadn’t forced himself on me and just raped me. When it was clear he’d done it with other girls that had been my age. I wasn’t sure what held him off me, but I was grateful for that small ounce of a silver lining to the entire situation. 

I lay there between two of the men I thought I’d never trust, trusting them completely. Feeling safer than I ever have and letting them whisper the new nightly apologies into my ear as they hold me between them. 

Maybe it doesn’t make sense, that the three of them tortured me and made me do things with them and for them, and now here I was forgiving them for all of it. I don’t know why I knew to come to them. Maybe because deep down I knew that they had staked a claim to me long ago and wouldn’t let anyone else touch me the ways that they wanted to. That nobody was allowed to hurt me but them.  That ultimately , I’d wanted everything they’d done to me. That I’d always wanted to be theirs as much as they wanted to control me and have me for themselves.  Maybe that makes me crazy, or stupid. Or maybe I’m just damned for hell like the rest of them.