EroticReverie

Matteo "King" Marchetti

As angry as I was with Arabella for coming back to that warehouse, risking herself for me. I couldn't help but also feel a sense of pride, or the love this girl had for me, her loyalty, without question, running back into guaranteed danger just to make sure I was okay. God, I spank the fuck out of her hot ass for it when my wound wasn't throbbing in my side. 

My brothers and our friends don't say a word as I take Arabella the the bedroom down in the basement of our friends house. It's a nice finished basement and has a large bed, and enough blankets on it, that Arabella snuggles close to me the second we hit the sheets and murmurs that she's still mad at me, as she falls asleep in my arms on my good side. 

I lay there stroking her hair, waiting till I know she's fast asleep, before I sneak out of bed, not wanting to, but knowing I need to clean the wound. It really wasnt all that bad, but I didnt need it getting infected, and didnt want to fuss about it while she was crying, or fucking me, or sucking my god damn dick like a porn star. Fuck, that girl. I swear she had a magic mouth. 

I walk into upstairs living room and stop in my tracks as I see my two brothers on the couch pulled out, the a fan of red hair between them , both of them sandwiching Gianna, Arabella's best friend between them. Well, that's...a development. I shake my head at the three of them sleeping, wondering if it's a g rated slumber party or if my two brothers tag teamed my girls best friend. I shake my head and walk into the kitchen, pulling out a first aid kit from the cabinet. 

I undress my wound, the tape holding it there more painful than the wound itself as it pulls at the sore skin around it. 

"How bad is it?" A soft voice asks and I jerk my head, to find Gianna, sleepily rubbing her eyes as she yawns.

"It's not bad." I say and she cocks her head and looks. 

"Looks bad." she says and steps forward and I watch her study it. 

"It didn't graze you." she says looking up at me , angrily. Knowing I lied to Arabella now that she sees the wound. The bullet was already out. It didnt matter, and Arabella would find out tomorrow I'd lied, I just needed her to find some peace tonight so she could sleep. 

"Yeah, well, it didnt hit anything major, they removed it in the car on the way here...I'm good." I say and she reaches for the first aid kit. 

"You know..." she huffs. She hands me the things I need, in the order I need them , talking  as I clean the wound, washing it. 

"she's my best friend..." 

"I know." I say dabbing and wincing at the burn the antiseptic makes on the wound. 

"I know you won't...intentionally hurt her..." she says and I look at her. Knowing exactly where she's going with this, and the thing is, my mind is already there, it's only gotten worse as the days go on, learning about my father wanting her, and the danger she was in tonight...I didn't want that. Ever again.

"But...she's not going to walk away from you." she says and I watch her wrap her arms around herself, and I know exactly what she's feeling. I can read it all over her face. Guilt about this conversation, knowing Arabella wouldn't want her saying what she's trying to say to me. But her love for her best friend, taking care of her, outweighs her guilt over going against what Arabella would want. 

"She's already... in love with you...and..."

"I love her too." I say and she looks at me. 

"I know that." she half scowls. 

"I can't lose her Matteo." she says, her lower lip trembling.

"Me either." I say and she looks at me, tears in her eyes. 

"Then do what's right. You know she's not safe with you." she says softly, her voice catching on the words as if she doesnt want to say them, pushing them out, needing to say them anyways. 

"You're telling me to leave her?" I ask and she looks at me. 

"No. I'm asking you to. For her sake. For mine. For yours. " she says and I feel my lips tighten, but I know she's right. Arabella, doesn't belong with someone like me. I knew she was too good for me from the start. Being an underground fighter was bad enough. Having a sleazeball of a father that wanted to fuck her just out of spite. Just to drive home how little he fucking cared about me when I already knew. Just to remind me that he was Sal Deluca and could have whatever he wanted in this city, and if he couldnt, he'd just fucking take it. 

I swallow. I knew I was being selfish, continuing on with her, but god, she was just...she was everything I wanted and needed, and I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to make her mine, not even expecting to feel so fucking fiercely protective her as quickly as I did, falling in love with her as fast as I did, but she made it impossible not to. How would I walk away from her ? 

"Please don't tell her I said anything." She whispers and I lift my eyes, shaking my head.

"I won't." I promise, because I respected Gianna for what she was doing right now, knowing how much it hurt her, to know that she was doing something, asking for something that would hurt her best friends feelings, and...break her heart. Break mine too. 

"I...I know I need to." I say, placing new bandaging on my wound. 

"But...I.." I trail off. What? I needed her? Needed more time with her ? More time that could possibly hurt her worse than a broken heart if I didn't cast her away, get her off my fathers radar? 

"She won't let you go easily." She says and I nod. 

"I know." I say.

"Please." Gianna says and sniffles, not letting her tears falls. 

"I know Gianna." I say. "I know." 

-------

The little red haired guardian angel crawls back into the pull out couch with my brothers as I flick off the lights and go back downstairs. I sigh as I walk into the room, the low lamp in the corner of the room showing her tucked into the covers on her side and I crawl in behind her , turning and groaning as my wound aches and I pull her into my arms, to my chest, my nose resting at the back of her head in her hair as I inhale her. Closing my eyes, to commit the scent to memory, so I never forget it. Because I knew I couldn't keep her. I knew she was in danger if she stayed with me. I lay there fighting back and forth with my mind all night, just holding her. Telling myself I need to do the right thing, then telling myself she can make her own choice. She knows the danger, she chooses me. I choose her. It's simple. But it's not, it's not at all. Because I knew I had to break the heart of the girl fast asleep in my arms, the first girl I ever really loved with every part of my being. 

"I love you." I whisper, barely audible to my own ears. 

"I will always love you." I whisper.

I kiss her head, wishing I could kiss her one last time. Make out with her perfect mouth until our lips hurt, make love to her before saying goodbye. But I wouldnt even say goodbye. That would give her a chance to argue with me reasoning, a chance to make me weak and never be able to walk away. My chest is tight with anger, with hurt. And with hate, hate for my father, for ruining my entire life, and making me give up the only thing that has made me so happy I could get physically sick for the way she makes my stomach and heart do flips on themselves. 

"You're my Bella" I whisper. "Always."

"I love you baby" I whisper again. Slipping my arms from around her, tears in my fucking eyes as I remove myself from her and the bed, staring at her as she sleeps and I just stand there, a fucking coward. Unable to face her when I end it between us. 

----------------------------------------------------

Arabella Morelli

I wake up with a stretch of my legs, my eyes opening and freeze for a moment, until I remember where I am, so strangers house, but I'm with Matteo. I turn onto my back and go to roll over to face him and groan when he's not there.  I stretch again, yawning and sit up, pulling my clothes from last night on, and walking up the stairs. It's quiet and I find Gianna still there, sitting on the couch, her eyes lifting to me, she's crying. Immediately I rush over. 

"G, what's wrong?" I ask, stroking her hair sitting down next to her. 

She hands me an envelope without a word. 

"He t-told me to give this to you." She chokes on a sob and my brows pinch.

"Who did?" I ask. Taking the Envelope, flipping it over. My heart stops in my chest.

"I'm sorry." she says. My heart pinches in my chest. It's just my name. Arabella. Scrawled in Matteo's handwriting, but I can feel the weight of it, not the actual physical weight, but my best friend is crying, the man I love left a letter. After he was shot last night, after I ran back into danger after him. I already knew. I fucking knew he'd do this. 

"Where is he?" I grit my teeth as Gianna shakes her head. 

"He left....last night." she says and I just blink.

"where's your phone?" I ask. 

"G..." I say when she doesnt answer. She slips it out and hands it over. I dial Matteos number, it goes straight to voicemail. Tears fill my eyes and I'm shaking, already fucking shaking. 

"Take me to his house. Right now." I say. 

"A.." she says.

"Take me right now!" I practically scream, tears spilling down my cheeks. Fuck. This hurt. This hurt real fucking bad. My stomach felt sick and my heart felt like it was breaking, actually breaking as I felt the pain shatter every part of me into a million little pieces that I knew weren't getting put back together. 

"Please!" I cry. 

-------

I pound on his door. No answer, screaming as I throw my angry pissed off fists at his door. His car wasn't here. He probably wasn't even home, but why couldnt finding him just be easy? Why couldnt he just...be here....with me. I fall to my knees, sobbing as Gianna just watched me from her car, sobbing for me. 

I beg her to take me to Santinos, to Giovanni's. To his mothers, all the places I knew of where he might be. His mother is the only one home, but I dont knock on her door. His mother, his sweet fucking mother, I couldnt cause her any grief. I didnt know if she knew exactly the danger Matteo was in, and god, would he even consider taking me back if he knew I'd dragged his mother into it? 

It's not till I'm in Gianna's room, and her leaving to give me privacy to read the letter, that I even open it. I read each word again and again, over and over, sobbing through tears, snot running from my nose as I keep reading it. I'm not sure how many times I read it. Just that I cry so hard that I have to run Gianna's bathroom to puke, making myself sick. 

---

Gianna takes care of me. Each day that goes by, I torture myself with the letter. Calling his phone, stopping by his brothers apartments, none of them to be found. CRying harder and harder each day, worrying about him. If he's okay. I lay in Gianna's bed sobbing as I read the letter again. 

"My Bella, 

I thought about lying to you. Telling you that I didn't love you, that I didn't want you anymore, telling you there was someone else. But you're too smart for those kinds of lies, and I can't fucking stand the thought of you possibly believing those kinds of lies. 

I love you. I want you. There's nobody but you for me. That's the truth. I realize that lying about any of that isn't necessary, because what I have to do, that alone, will be enough to make you hate me. 

I'm breaking up with you. In a fucking letter. Because I'm a coward. Because I know if I see your face, I won't be able to fucking do it. 

Please don't come to the fights. Please don't come to my place, or my brothers, please just don't come around. I don't want you to. I don't want you chasing after me to tell me what a fucking fool I am. I already know. I've already played every argument out in my head, and all of them end the same. 

I can't be with you. Not when it puts you in danger. You told me last night to deal with it, that you'd always run after me. Bella, I can't have that. You know I can't. I let things go to far with us, I let myself fall in love with you and became selfish , wanting you even when I knew you weren't mine to have and keep. 

Please, if you love me, do me this favor.....don't seek me out. I need you to forget me Bella. I need you to cry, then move on. I need you to find a man who worships you the way you deserve to be worshipped. To take care of you, and give you a good life, a better one than you would have had with me. 

Please forgive me, but then...forget me Bella. Because I wouldnt be able to live with myself if anything happened to you because of me. 

I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Maybe in another life Bella I could let you love me. But not in this one. 

Take care of yourself baby, please. I love you.

-King "