EroticReverie

Valentina

We make love to one another three seperate times before we get out of bed and in Bane's shower. Even still, it's not enough, and we're making out under the spray of water as the hot water fills his bathroom steam and our hands are all over one another. 

It hurts to love him this much. It hurts to know I shouldn't be putting myself back into his hands. I'd been strong for two whole damn years, trying to get over him. He could hurt me again. He could take whatever was left of my heart and all that I'd tried to repair, and shatter it , to never be fixed again. Maybe I was a fool, or maybe I just knew there was nobody in this entire world that I could love as madly as I love Bane. 

His mouth is on my neck and his hands are turning me around, and I place my hands to the tiles of his shower as he pushes my wet hair to the side and kisses along the side of my neck and down my shoulder as I step my feet apart, and he reaches down, sliding himself into me. My body is so fucking desperate for him, two years of missing this, of how perfect we are together. My body has only ever known him, only ever wanted him. I refused to let myself think of the incident, I would not let those bastards count for anything. It was my body, they took what wasn't theirs, and I was doing my best over the past two years with my therapist to erase the damage they'd done. Including the damage Bane had done ontop of it. 

My mind is racing with so much shit, but Bane's cock thrusting in and out of me as he groans my name against my ear as I pant, is making the flashes of every trouble I have, fall away and out of my mind, and making me focus on how good he can make me feel.

My breasts bounce , and my heels lift from the shower floor with each thrust he makes, his hands all over me, on my hips, gripping them, then sliding them up and grabbing my breasts, holding them as he fucks me from behind and then is sliding one hand down to my clit, rubbing it till I cum again, legs shaking, and then him following me over the edge. Filling me, cumming in me again, and I clench around his cock. 

I was being careless with my heart, with everything, I wasnt sure what my therapist would have to say about me having unprotected sex with the man who'd made such a mess of my heart. I knew sex wasn't going to fix what happened between us, no matter how good it was. But I couldnt stop myself from , I'd been deprived of him for longer than the two years, because I hadn't had him, not truly, since the night I was raped by his step brother and his step brothers friends. 

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After we shower, I wear one of his shirts, and he wears a pair of sweat pants as he cooks us a late breakfast in his kitchen. Both of us not doing much talking, me pretending to check emails on my phone as he cooks , so I dont have to try to force conversation. 

Would it always be this way? If I tried to make things work with Bane, would it always be this awkward now? Would we never get back to how we were before everything happened? We were both different people now, two years can change people, and I think it changed us for the better, but still...what if us loving each other just wasn't enough. What if what happened between us would always leave this bad taste in the air between us, this unspoken silent taunting of how we'll never have it all. 

We're sitting at the table, eating in silence, and even though we spent a good amount of last night, and then this morning having sex, making love to each other, there's this barrier, this thing I feel like we'll never erase. Or maybe I'm just hoping for too much too soon, maybe I'm just tired of missing him, and I just want us to be us again, I want things to be perfect. 

"I love you." he says, making me stop chewing. I look up, finish chewing. He looks as frustrated by the silence as I am. 

"This isn't how it's supposed to be....this isn't us." he says. 

I swallow my food and sit down my fork on my plate, take a drink of coffee and then lick my lips and take a long breath. 

"I love you too." I say. His eyes sparkle as he just looks at me.  I look down at my plate, picking my fork back up, and fidgeting the food around on my plate as I think.

"I hate that this feels weird. I don't like that being near you, while not having sex, feels weird Bane." I say and he winces.

"I know everything can't be fixed with sex...but...is it stupid I was hoping it would fix us?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I've missed you so much." I tell him. "I've missed having sex with you, and having you make love to me, and god...that....the sex...that feels just like how it used to...if not more amazing somehow..." I say

He nods. "Yeah. I know." he says, and stirs in his seat.

"But we can't...just have sex and then sit here like this...with nothing to say to each other.....I hate that this doesnt feel natural.....and what if it always feels like this....what if were only good sex Bane?"

"We're not, you know we're not just sex Valentine" he says almost desperately , his eyes pleading with me to take it back as he reaches over and grabs my hand. 

"We can't fix what I broke in a day...or a week...or a month...and it's been two years...and we haven't dealt with what happened between us....but we will....and i...I just want us to try...please....don't give up on me already...i'm begging you...i know we're not our normal right now...but I want to get there with you....and if...if it takes too long, and you want to quit trying with me....and you want to move on....then...." he trails off as if he cant bring himself to say he'll let me go. I just squeeze his hand and he looks at me. 

"Don't say it." I whisper. He swallows. 

"I can't." he answers, both of us sitting there with emotion clogging our throats and making our eyes water. 

"I can't ever let you go again. You're my soul mate, I know you are. There's nobody else in this world for me Valentine. So please....just try with me...please.....we'll figure it all out....I'll get us there, I promise." he says and I nod. 

"I want to get back to the way we were....I want to get back to annoying you, to making you laugh, to making you smile, to driving you crazy."

I sigh with a little laugh. "You have always driven me crazy." 

He smiles slightly. "But I want to drive you crazy in the best ways."

It takes all of fifteen seconds of us staring in each others eyes , before the adoring gazes become longing, then become lustful. Then Bane is out of his seat, and I'm out of mine, plates are clattering and my ass is perched on the edge of the table as Bane and I do the only thing we can to let ourselves feel "normal" together. 

My legs are wrapped around him, his pants slung to his thighs , his cock buried in me as he thrusts into me on his dining room table, my face buried in his neck as I hold onto him. It's so good I cry. I curse into his neck, my hand in his hair , clutching it as he fucks me harder and I squeeze my legs around him tighter. 

Maybe sex could heal us, at least parts of us, because I swear everytime he's been inside me since last night, I feel a part of my old self coming back to me. Reminding me of how fucking happy we were together, how we deserved that for ourselves. Our bodies are fused, and his cock is drilling deep up inside of me as I moan his name with a plea for more. 

I tell myself that it's not his fault. Yes, it was his actions that drove me to run away. But I have to believe, if his step brother hadnt done that to me, hadnt fucked both of us up, hadnt made Bane watch me get raped, that Bane would never have pushed me away, never had not know how to love me or be there for me, would never have cheated on me. His step brother hadnt only stolen a part of me that night, but he'd taken a part of Bane too.  The good part of him, the best part of him. He'd turned us both into versions of ourselves that we weren't. He'd taken my body, but he'd taken Bane's ability to believe he deserved me. He'd made Bane believe it was his fault , what Baron did to me with those guys. 

I have to fogive him. I have to. I have to completely forgive Bane, because deep down I know, his apologies are all true, and that he'd have never done that to me. He'd had never given up what we had or ruined it if it weren't for the shit Baron had put us both through. I had to believe that the guy who broke my heart into bits, truly hadn't wanted to. That he was broken, just like me, and that it wasn't my fault , and it wasn't his. The blame lays with the monster who raped a teenage girl in front of her boyfriend, with multiple other guys and made him watch. We couldn't blame ourselves anymore, we deserved better. We let Baron ruin too much for us already, and I wanted back the man he took from me by driving him away from me. 

We had to make this work. We deserve a happy ending. 

"We deserve a happy ending" I nearly sob into his neck and Bane groan, grabbing me, thrusting, his hips pumping. 

"It's not our fault...none of its our fault...i cant forgive you..because there's nothing to forgive Bane...we didnt do this to ourselves....it's because of him....and I wont let him ruin the rest of our lives...we deserve this....we deserve our happy ending" 

My mouth is coverd by his, and we're both fucking crying, and god I'm so sick of crying, but it's all coming out now, the years we've spent apart.

I'm carried from the kitchen table, his cock still buried inside of me as we kiss frantically, two yearrs worth of wild tongues and hungry mouth as he takes me against the wall, then to the floor in the hallway, and we don't make it to his bed, and we make love on the floor till we're both out of breath, panting, and washed in the bliss of our orgasms as more of his cum fills my pussy and I wrap my arms around him as he lays over me. I kiss the side of his head.

"We're gonna be okay" I whisper to him. He buries his face in my neck, and I'm sure it's to keep me from seeing him cry, cause I hear the little sharp breath he takes and the way he holds his breath to keep from falling apart. I close my eyes and two tears, one from each eye spill down the sides of my face. Because I truly know it in that moment, that we really will be okay. I refuse to believe anything else. 

"We're gonna be okay Bane" I whisper again, my voice slighty shaky with emotion. 

"We're gonna be okay." I say a third time, softly, placing another kiss to his temple.