EroticReverie

Sydney

I put on the same sheer white bra and same white cowl neck sweater. But I have to put on new panties, and I throw the white leggings back on, since the center of them isn't TOO damp by the time Hudson is done giving me life altering orgasms with his mouth and fingers. 

I brush my hair with Hudson watching and push a thin white plastic headband into my hair to keep it out of my face. 

"God, you're so fucking pretty" he says , already dressed, watching me from the other side of the room as I stand in front of a full length mirror as I adjust the headband and look at him, staring at me through the mirror. I blush slightly. Even with my clothes back on, even after what he'd just done to me, he could still make me blush. 

"you're pretty too Hudson." I say and the corner of his mouth lifts slightly, his eyes going to mine in the mirror. 

"That so?" he asks and I give a little smile and then shrug. 

"We'll you've definitely never been difficult to look at." I say, slightly teasing and he lets out a little laugh. 

"I hate that sweater." he says and I turn my head and look at him over my shoulder. 

"You love it." I say. 

"yeah, that's why I hate it......god you look so fucking good in white...perfect little fucking snowflake" he says and groans and I bite my lip. 

"Stop eye fucking me, we need to go downstairs"

He smirks. "We dont NEED to, not really" he shrugs and I roll my eyes.

"How am I supposed to look at you? I've always looked at you like this." he says. 

"I cant look at you any other way Snowflake. It's impossible." he groans and I turn and walk over. 

"Then we'll have to put blinders on you" I say and give him a little push. "Let's go"

He groans and sighs. 

"Fine, but i'm not sure how long i'll be able to last before needing to rip those leggings down to taste you again" he says and I shoot him a look over my shoulder.

He cocks a brow. "I'm serious."

"I already need another taste." he whispers , stepping into the hall behind me, curling his arm around me and leaning down and sweeping my hair aside with his free hand and kisses my neck. 

"Hudson" I exhale as I tilt my head, giving him access and he groans. 

"Yep. Figured that was gonna happen." Heath's voifce draws both of our attention , and I jump and slip out of Hudson's arm. Heath just laughs. 

"You were caught red handed Syd." Heath says. "Plus...the walls in this place aren't sound proof." 

"Heath" Hudson growls at his brother and Heath just laughs and shrugs. 

"I'm just sayin." Heath shrugs. 

"Me an Yana we're finished...but then we heard Syd's cries...and shit...had to go again" he says.

I flush the deepest shade of red and Hudson scolds his brother.

"Too...much...fucking..information..brother." Hudson growls and then reacahes behind me, and grabs my waist and pulls me back to his side and I go to move away again.

"Nuh uh." Hudson growls down at me, making me lift my head and look up at him. 

"This isn't a secret." he nods to me. "You and me...this is happening Snowflake..and i'm not hiding it....plus...I cant fuckin keep my hands off you all god damn day or not have you near me as much as fuckin possible..so knock it off." 

My brows pinch. "Oh so you just make the decisions about us now? You make them all on your own ..AGAIN?" I say, slightly turned on by his little claim, but also a lot anoyed by it. 

"Ahh, a lovers spat. Adorable." Heath says, and I turn my head and I'm the one to glare at him now. 

He throws his hands up. 

"alright, I know that look, I know it all to well, im outta here" he says and turns and walks off. 

I turn to face Hudson. 

"You dont get to decide what I'M comfortable with Hudson. and you CAN and WILL control yourself and your hands for a few hours" I say and push his hand off my waist. 

His nostrils flare. 

"I can't." he says quietly. 

"Funny...cause you chose to take your hands off me for four years Hudson." 

"Syd,...you're the one who said you wanted to pretend like the past four years didnt happen....at least for the week...if you're gonna be mad about it..then let's talk about it."  he says so calmly. 

"I cant." my voice cracks. "Just...when we're making out, or doing...what ...what we just did...it's easy to forget how much it hurts when you make me feel that good.." I say honestly and his face goes from calm to wounded. 

"Talking about it hurts Hudson. Because it doesnt matter what you say...it still happened...and I ...I might be yours...I'll probably ALWAYS be yours in some way....but I dont know if it will ever NOT hurt....or if i'll ever be able to get past it." I say. Swallowing down the urger to cry. 

"I'm sorry." he says and looks down, his head hanging as he sighs and then pushes a hand through his hair. "I'm so fucking sorry Sydney." 

"I know that. And you could say it a million times....it's still going to hurt. " I say and he lifts eyes. 

"Then tell me what to do. I'll do whatever it takes." he says. 

"Behind closed doors...when it's just us...we can be...us.....but I dont want your family knowing...well....I dont want...the REST of your family knowing...because I dont know what I want Hudson." 

"Yes you do." he says. 

My lips tighten and I look at him. 

"But I hurt you...and you're scared." he says. 

"Yeah. Fine. I want you. I wanted you then, I want you know, and I wanted you for the four years you were married to another woman. I'm pathetic. My whole life has been YOU Hudson...even while dating other guys...it was always YOU...and some nights, it was hard to even breathe through the fucking tears I cried for you." I say as those tears threaten to spill and he reaches out for me and I shake my head. 

"Don't, and don't you dare tell me you're sorry" I say, my voice cracking as he opens his mouth to apologize.

"So yes..I know what I want. IVE ..ALWAYS known. It's YOU who was scared...and it's YOU that has us here in this fucking situation..so if i say im not ready...know that it's not because im scared of what I want...I've never been scared of wanting you....if I say i'm not ready it's because im scared of the man that I want...and the fact that he was so fucking careless with my heart...and that he can say all the pretty things I want to hear....that he can still kiss me and me feel like im floating on fucking air...that you can get me naked and give me as many orgasms as my body can stand...but it still doesnt change the fact im scared how easy it was for you to leave me before...how easy it was for you to marry another woman and think that i was better off not knowing....and screw your excuse of nobody being able to find out....because that's bullshit and you know it...because you know i wouldnt have said a fucking word if it was YOU asking me not to. So don't tell me that I'm scared. When you avoided giving me the decency of an explanation for ANY of it during the four years we were apart. " Tears are streaming down my face. 

"So forgive me Hudson, if i'm not ready to agree to an us....but i'm not the one to blame." I say. Maybe im harsh, but it's not fair. He's the one that left, he's the one that married someone, then divorced them and STILL didnt even contact me AFTER the divorce to give an explanation.  

I walk away from him before I continue to go off on him, I walk away from him before I let myself get pulled into those arms of his and melt into a fucking puddle all over again.