EroticReverie

Leona

After Charlie spends an hour with me in my room preparing my outfits for the week, he leaves to go with friends to go shopping. He doesn’t offer to let me tag along, which is fine, I don’t have the money to keep up with them anyways. But my insecurity nags me that maybe he’s embarrassed to let me tag along when he doesn’t think much of my style or lack thereof. 

My room is five times the size of my old bedroom. It feels too big, and it makes it feel more lonely. All this space. With no memories to fill it. Caroline told me to let her know what I’d like to do as far as decorating , offering a change of paint, a change of furniture and bedding and whatever else I wanted. I was just fine with the room as it was. While it wasn’t exactly me, with the pristine white everything and mini chandelier hanging from the ceiling, I would never say i wanted to change it. The last thing I wanted was to seem ungrateful , she did essentially adopt me into her home. It didn’t matter if her and her husband made enough to spend thousands of dollars on a room makeover. I didn’t want them spending their money on something so silly. 

The closet is massive and my small wardrobe only takes up about one tenth of the closet space. The shoe display has three pairs of footwear, two pairs of sneakers and a pair of rain boots. They look so out of place in the lighted display. 

Some boxes of my things were delivered ahead of time, which I’ve still yet to unpack. Too scared to open it and have my things smell like home. Too scared to see the photographs of my parents. The vision of them in my head is already too much to handle. 

I’m standing out on the balcony just enjoying the view of their property and how I can see the ocean, anytime I want. Their house is right on a cliff, okay well not right on it. But the back of the house has the view of their massive pool and built in waterfall. The guest house sits to the right , where Caine lives. And I can’t see the full view of it. But I can see the back and side , and my eyes catch on a tall leggy blonde. Wearing a tight red mini dress and a pair of red stilettos dangling from her hands as she holds the other around Caines neck, looking up at him. 

I swallow and step back slightly. Watching his hand travel down her lower back, over the curve of her ass. I watch him squeeze her ass cheek as they eat each others faces. 

I see his hand lift and give her ass a smack and hear a faint yelp from her and a loud giggle and then her shoes are dropped and her other arm is lifting around him and I watch. Nosy as hell, as he grabs her ass with both hands and lifts her up, her legs going around his waist. Her dress riding up and I hood my breath as her ass is bared. She didn’t even have underwear on! I watch as Caine’s hand dips down the center of her ass and….i gasp. He’s touching her ass! Her ACTUAL Ass. Her…hole. She’s squirming against him as they continue to suck face and then. Out of nowhere, his mouth goes to her ear, whispering something , and then, his eyes lift. I see him pause for a brief moment. Knowing he sees me. Sees I’m facing him and her. He KNOWS I’m watching. 

It’s a good distance away but I can see his smirk as I jump and nearly stumble onto my ass as I try to back away and into my room. 

I’m mortified. My cheeks are hot and my legs don’t work as I clumsily stumble through the balcony doors and back into my room. How embarrassing. But what the hell?! Who does that in public?! Sure he’s at HOME , but there’s other people around ! 

“Hey” Cardens voice startles me and I jump, and crash sideways into the balcony door. 

“Whoa? You good? I knocked. But you didn’t answer” Carden says walking over to me near the balcony. 

“Yeah. Yep. I’m good.” I say as I hold my hand to my heart. Other than the fact your brother probably thinks I’m some kind of pervert.  Or maybe I was. But again, not my fault!

“Was gonna see what you wanted for dinner, my mom told me to ask you.” He says as he walks over to my bed and just throws himself onto it. At least he was showered from the gym and had a shirt on now. But the shirt did nothing to distract me from his chest and biceps or the little trail of hair that was peeking at me through the sliver of skin between the hem of his shirt that rides up and his jeans. As he lifts both hands up behind his head, laying his head on my pillows.  Was this normal behavior? Should he even be IN my room with me right now, let alone on my bed? Charlie was one thing, because we both liked guys. But I’ve never had a boy in my room. I wasn’t allowed.  The few boys I did date that came over to the house, we weren’t allowed in my room, and I definitely wasn’t allowed to go to their houses.  

“Leona?” Carden asks as my eyes stay glued to the happy trail on his lower stomach. 

“Huh?” I ask and I lift my eyes. Blushing as he gives me a knowing smirk. 

“Dinner.” He says. “What do you want for dinner?” He smiles and thankfully doesn’t mention my staring at his abdominals. 

“Oh, right, I don’t really care. I’m fine with whatever.” I say with a shrug. 

“So you’re one of those?” He teases. 

“I’m one of what?” I ask as I fidget with the stray hairs near my ear and twist them around my finger. 

He smiles. “Girls who don’t make decisions about food.” 

“We have our own club?” I ask and he laughs. 

“Yeah.” He smiles and sits up and moves off my bed and stands. 

“I really don’t care. I’m not picky.” I say. Which is true. 

“Okay. Well. We’re gonna work on that. So let’s try this. Tell me something you don’t want.” He says and crosses his arms and looks down at me. His eyes suddenly making me nervous , so I look away and shrug. 

I don’t want to be here with a family that isn’t mine. I don’t want to be going to a new school. I don’t want to be attracted to you. Or your brothers. I don’t want to mourn my parents. I don’t want to be a fucking orphan. 

“Leona?” He asks softly and I lift my eyes that are starting to fill with tears. 

“Hey” he says softly and reaches out his hand and touches the side of my arm. “Hey, come here” he says gently and pulls me into him as I suck in a breath. Trying to keep myself from crying. But as soon as he hugs me and wraps his arms right around me , as if we’ve known each other forever. I breakdown. Crying for the first time since I got here. 

“Hey, I’m sorry” he whispers above my head. “I shouldn’t have pushed, I’m sure your mind is too busy coping and dealing with everything to worry about what you want for dinner. I’m sorry” he says and I shake my head wanting to tell him it’s fine and it’s not his fault. But I keep the words in so I don’t have to hear my voice crack. 

“Hey, shhhh” he says softly and strokes my hair with one hand and kisses the top of my head. And this is why Carden is my secret favorite. He acts as if we’re best friends. As if he knows me and now I know, he’s not afraid of my tears. 

“Shhhh” he whispers and kisses my head again. “I’m here, okay? We’re all here for you.” He says and I just cry harder. 

I shouldn’t be thinking of how good he smells or how attractive he is , while simultaneously thinking about my parents. But my head is a mess of everything all at once. 

“Hey what’s going on?” A deep voice asks and I turn my head , finding Caine standing in my room  , watching me be consoled by Carden. 

Once my face lifts and he sees I’m crying and NOT getting handsy with his brother his brows draw tight and his lips go thin as he scowls. 

“Is she crying?” He asks as if I’m not right here. 

“Maybe you should go?” Carden suggests to his brother. 

But Caine does the opposite and walks over to me and Carden. 

“Come with me.” He says and grabs my hand and I look at Carden as I’m tugged gently by Caines large hand. Carden shrugs and follows Caine and me as I’m pulled from my room and through the house. 

My crying stops, because I’m just confused now. Where are we going? And why did Caine come to my room? Was he going to confront me about seeing him with that girl?

I wipe my tears with my free hand and sniffle as he walks us outside. 

“Where are we going?” Carden asks. Caine ignoring him as we walk past the pool, past the bit of land that reaches out to the cliff and then we’re standing ear the edge of the cliff. 

“Scream.” Caine says and I look at the ocean. Then back at him. I just blink up at him. My brows pinching in confusion. 

“Go on. Scream.” He says and I shake my head slightly. 

“I can’t” I say., feeling awkward and a bit embarrassed. 

“How does screaming beat crying?” Carden asks from the other side of me. Caine glares at him over my head. 

“Because she’s not just sad. And she’s probably already done a bunch of crying, but I bet she hasn’t screamed yet. Have you?” He looks back at me. I shake my head. 

“No.” I answer quietly. 

“But you’re not just sad. You’re angry too. Right?” He asks and I think about it. 

And I realize I am more than just sad. I AM angry. Not at my parents. But at that other driver. At the world for taking my parents. I’m sad AND angry at being left alone. 

“Yes.” I answer him  with a single nod. 

“So go on. Scream.” He says and nods to the ocean. 

It feels silly and I definitely don’t want to scream my lungs out in front of him and Carden. 

“Go on.” He says and takes my hand again and I swallow hard. And wonder why I’m just thankful it’s not the other hand he hand rubbing on his girlfriend’s asshole. But this one was still on her ass. 

“Did you wash your hands?” I ask and he looks at me confused for a moment and then smirks. 

“No.” He answers and I draw my hand out of his and he laughs. 

“Wash his hands?” Carden asks , confused why I’m asking him. 

“Smartass.” Caine mutters with a grin and then  nods back at the ocean. 

“Do it.” He says and I shake my head. 

“Fine. I’ll do it.” He says and I jump as Caine yells into the air. His scream is more of a growl, a rumbling that vibrates through the air and my bones. He does it again. Yelling loudly , the sound carrying out into the air and the ocean. 

It has my body tingling , wanting to scream along side him. I yelp as Carden starts to yell too. I’m covering my ears and smiling. Laughing.  Laughing for the first time in weeks as these two guys scream into the ocean. Caine being my six foot five with his tattoos and long dark hair blowing in the breeze as he bellows into the air. Carden six foot three with his broad shoulders and bulky muscles doing the same. 

Caine looks at me from the corner of his eye and grabs my hand from my ear. Carden grabs the other. Both of them holding my hands as I wince as they continue to shout. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” Carden yells , switching to words instead of just yelling sounds. 

“FUCK THE WORLD!” Carden yells and I laugh and look from him to Caine again as he joins in. 

“FUCK THE WORLD!” Caine growls loudly. 

“Come on , scream! Get fucking angry!” Caine says and squeezes my hand. 

“Ahhh!” The sound breaks out of me. Both of the looking at me as I let a truly pathetic attempt.  I wince. 

“You’ve got to do better than that , pretty girl” Caine says and my eyes goes to him and widen slightly. He winks as if he knows the fact he just called me pretty , has me slightly stunned. 

“Louder!” Carden yells. 

“AHHH!” I yell and wince again. I was louder. But I still fucking squeaked more than I roared. 

“LOUDER” Caine growls as he yells. 

“AHHHHHHHH!” I scream as I close my eyes and my shoulders shrink in as I feel the awkwardness of yelling at the top of my lungs sinking into me. 

“AGAIN! LONGER!” Caine yells. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I scream. My voice cracking and shrieking in the air as they yell along with me. 

I feel it. The smallest bit of relief. I scream again. Addicted to that tiny little minuscule weight that is lifted with each scream. 

They both squeeze my hands as they keep yelling with me. And I find my voice trying to climb over theirs. To prove how angry I am. To feel the rush of those tiny slivers of my pain be pulled from my heart and let go. Even if they’ll be replaced , but it feels like I’m emptying out some of the built up pain and anger. Making room for more. 

“SAY FUCK THE WORLD!” Carden yells.

Him and Caine both do but I don’t. I just scream again. 

“Say it!” Carden encourages me.

“I don’t swear.” I say panting. Out of breath from the yelling and Caine laughs and Carden does too. 

“Just this once” Carden says and I shake my head. 

I swore all the time. In my head. But just not outloud.

“It’s okay pretty girl, you don’t have to say it” Caine says and I look at him. That name again. Pretty girl. Was he just being nice to me because I was sad? Did he really think I was pretty? Why did I care? Because I shouldn’t.  But I found myself wanting all the Copeland boys to think I was pretty. Because I thought all of them were “pretty” too. But guilt gnaws at me. And I feel ashamed for having the audacity to have a crush on these boys. Because I should be sad. All the time. Any moment of normalcy feels wrong. Like I’m not allowed to be anything other than sad. It feels disrespectful to my parents to feel anything other than mournful. It feels wrong to find something good right now. When their death is the only reason I’m standing here with these two and living in a house full of attractive guys.  It feels so wrong. 

“You did good.” Caine says with a soft smile and then grabs my shoulder and squeezes it. Leaving me with Carden as he walks back to the guest house.