EroticReverie

Liviana Love LaCroix

I wake up early , walking to Micks bedrooms which is now my little sister Violets. I open the door and panic when I don’t see her in bed. 

I call her name and my heart beats faster and I’m barreling down the stairs , hopping over the second to last one that’s broken and in need of repair and my feet hit the floor. 

The panic eases as I hear her little giggle, but I still rush through the house to the kitchen and stop in my tracks as I see a shirtless Axl, standing behind her and Mick , who are kneeling on stools next to the counter. Axl notices me , his eyes lifting. Then falling down over me. I was only in one of Gibsons shirts. It hung mid thigh and his eyes roamed on my bare legs. His nostrils flaring slightly and then his eyes rolling back up my body to my eyes. 

“Auntie Livvy!” Mick squeaks and then Violets head lifts. Her cheeks covered in flour. 

“Livvy, Axl is letting us make pan-a-cakes!!!” She exclaims and lifts the whisk in the air. Batter flying off it all over the counter and dripping down her hand and little arm. A little splat of batter making Axl jerk his head back when it hits him on his face and chest. A little laugh leaves me and I walk across the kitchen to where they are and Violet is giggling and still waving the whisk around. 

“Lets keep the whisk in the bowl Vi” I say gently and softly push her hand down and the whisk back into the bowl. 

“I’m putting chocolate chips in mine” Micks says to Violet. 

I walk over to the sink grabbing a dish rag and running it under warm water to dampen it and then walk back over to Axl and lift my hand to wipe the splatters of pancake mix from his chest. 

He grabs my hand. 

“What are you doing?” He says and I pause. Blinking up at him. 

“Oh” I say. For some reason temporarily forgetting that he’s a thirty three year old man capable of cleaning himself off. 

He stares down at me, his hand around my wrist. 

“I was just…um….sorry, here” I say and nod to the washcloth. 

He looks at it. Then looks back at me and her drops his hand from my wrist. 

“You do it.” He says after a moment and my breath hitches. 

“Oh, okay” I say my breath a bit shaky. My nipples tighten under Gibsons shirt I’m wearing as he looks at me. His eyes on my mouth. I lower my eyes and gently swipe at the little specks of pancake batter on his chest. His chest rises and falls slowly. Deep breaths. 

“Did you , um, sleep okay?” I ask. Trying to kill the silence between us as I lift the rag and fold it over to get the little splatter on his jaw and bite my lip as I rub it over his morning stubble. 

“No.” He answers. I lift my eyes. 

“Oh.” I say and lower the rag and look up at him. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asks. 

I nod once. 

“I always sleep well in the your home.” I say and he grabs the rag gently and tosses it to the sink. 

“It’s your home now too.” He says and my heart pounds faster. 

“The others still don’t want me here.” I whisper. 

“Yes they do.” He says and I blink. Shaking my head slightly. 

“They do Liviana.” He says and I give a small smile and shrug. 

“Okay” I say. Not believing a word of it. He pity’s me and is trying to make me feel better. 

“We still need to talk.” He reminds me and I chew my lip and wince.

“Do we have to?” I ask. Knowing that , yes, we did have to. Because Axl would want names of all the men that ever bought my body from my dad. 

“Yes. We do.”  He says. 

I just nod.  

“Okay.”

—————-

Later in the day, Half of the she guys are out at work, even though it’s Saturday, but Jagger and Jett and Axl are home. Jagger sitting out back with Jett as they watch over the kids while cooking burgers on the grill for dinner, to have them ready when the others get home in a little bit. 

I put a lid on the potato salad and put it in the fridge and then see Axl walking from outside with the others and into the house.  I know he still wants to talk. But he hasn’t pushed for it yet. And Jagger and Jett have been nice today. Well.  Nicer. They might not talk to me much, but at least when they look at me I don’t feel like that want to drag me back to the Heights.

——

We all eat dinner outside, the kids play while the guys drink and talk and I just observe while sitting on Gibsons lap. 

It’s not just Axl who keeps looking over to me while I sit on his lap. But all of them do. I try not to let it bother me. Try not to let my skin flush whenever they look at me, probably still hating me , and maybe even more than before but being forced to not show it. Because of Axl. 

Later After the kids are put to bed. We’re all out back. The sounds of the swamp and the sticky summer heat in the air. 

“I’m beat. Wanna go to bed?” Gibson asks as he grabs my thigh and squeezes with a smile. I give a little nod. 

I look to Axl, but he’s looking at the small fire we’ve got burning and I look to the others saying goodnight. Their eyes lifting to me all at once as I stand with Gibson. 

“Night” Jagger says. 

“Night” Crue and Cash say. 

Jett tips his chin down. “Night” he says with a nod. 

“Night” Sid mutters to my surprise. 

 “Goodnight Liviana” Axl says and I smile softly at all of them as Gibson wraps his arm around me and we go up to his room. 

After our clothes our off, we make out on his bed. His soft gentle hands working me slowly, slipping over my skin, grabbing gently at my thighs and hips as his hands slide all over me. 

He goes down on me for nearly half an hour. It feels so good. Feels fucking amazing, but I still can’t get off. Because I can’t ever get off. Because in the back of my mind. I’m always picturing other men. My father, his friends , some even strangers. I always feel dirty. No matter how good it feels. My mind telling me I’m not allowed to enjoy it. That I can’t cum while their faces are in my head. 

But then there’s a flash of another face. And my back arches and I’m so close. My hands clench in Gibsons hair as I ride his mouth, bucking my hips. I whimper as I shake myself internally for coming to a near orgasm while thinking of Axl. The only time I’ve ever cum by a man’s hand. Was that night. I knew he didn’t know how old I was. I knew he wouldn’t have touched me if he had known. But that kiss. His fingers inside of me. Riding his hand in the darkness of the shed as he groaned against my lips and, not even knowing my name. 

I don’t cum. I don’t allow myself to. Because cumming while thinking of Gibsons brother would feel worse than letting myself cum while thinking of the men who paid my father for my body. 

We have sex. It’s short. After cleaning up we get back into bed and Gibson falls right asleep. I lay there staring at the ceiling in the dark. I close my eyes several times trying to find sleep. But I can’t. So I slip out of bed. Grabbing a pair of pink sleep shorts and matching pink cotton cami tank. I pull my hair up into a messy bun and then grab my phone and slip out of the room. 

I tip toe down the hall. Checking on Violet who is fast asleep with her stuffed rabbit clutched in her arm. Then I quietly shut the door and tip toe down the hall the rest of the way. Even going slow. My feet cause creaks in the old floorboard and even louder ones on the stairs as I go down them. 

I go to the kitchen. Make myself a cup of tea and then slip out the back door. Jumping out of my skin as I see a large frame sitting in the dark across the yard , looking out at the field and swamps of the backyard. 

His head turns and I see Axl looking back at me. 

My heart beats fast still. But the panic disappears when I realize it’s him. I slide on my flip flops on from the deck where I left them with the other shoes outside and then walk across the tiny little deck and onto the grass and over to the lawn chair beside him. 

“Cant sleep?” I ask him as I take a seat and cross my legs and he looks out at the swamp. 

“Nope.” He says and then lifts a beer bottle to his lips and I lick my lips remembering the taste of the beer on his lips that night three years ago. I push the memory that’s been playing on repeat in my head all night, to the back of mind. 

“Why are you up? You said you sleep well here.” He says and I nod as he looks to me. 

“Usually do. My mind won’t turn off though.” I say and he hums. Then turns and looks at me. His eyes going to my shoulders and the thin straps of my sleep cami. My skin buzzing as goosebumps erupt everywhere as his gaze goes to my breasts. I breathe as slowly as I fucking can as his eyes stay there. His jaw ticks and he grips his beer bottle and his eyes drops to my legs , roaming them slowly. Then back up to my breasts. 

“You shouldn’t wear stuff like that around the house.” He says. 

“I didn’t think anyone was up.” I say. “Sorry” I say softly. Because I knew what he meant. It wasn’t right to prance around in sleep sets in front of a bunch of guys if I was actually living here now. 

He shakes his head. “Suppose it doesn’t matter though.” He says and I say nothing. Chewing my lip as he looks out at the swamp.

“You look too sweet no matter what you wear.” He says and lifts his beer taking another sip. 

I flush in the dark. 

“Is that…a good thing or?” I trail off. 

He looks at me. “Not for me it isn’t.”  His eyes go back to my breasts. 

“We should talk.” He says ripping his eyes from me. 

“Okay” I say. 

“When did it start?” He asks. Getting right to the point and I rub my thumb along the side of the mug and over the Shaw Shop logo of their auto repair garage. 

“Um…” I hesitate. Because I know he’s asking when my dad started selling my me to men. Only because he doesn’t know that my father was using me long before that. So I answer the question he’s asking. When did my father start selling me. 

“Around the time my mom left.” I say and I see his hand grip the beer bottle tighter. 

“How old were you?” He grits his teeth. 

“I was thirteen when she left.” I say quietly. 

He lets out a harsh breath and curses angrily under it and chucks the fucking bottle across the yard and I hear a plunk into the swamp water. 

“You shouldn’t litter.” I say. His head whips at me. He glares at me. 

“Dont fucking make jokes right now.” He growls at me. 

“I mean, it’s not a joke, you really shouldn’t” I say and he growls at me. 

“How many ?” He snarls. He’s angry. Not at me. But angry at them. At my dad. maybe my mom. Because I know she’s the one that I’m most angry with. 

I shrug. 

“How many Liviana?” He asks again trying to control his temper.  Clutching the arm of the lawn chair. 

“Does it matter? One is too many , isn’t it?” I ask and his eyes soften and then they flare with anger all over again. 

“Yes. One is too many.” He says and then looks back at the swamp. 

“They weren’t….all bad.” I say. For some reason thinking that statement might make him feel better. It’s a stupid thing to say though. 

“Don’t you dare fucking defend them to me.” He stands and I suck in a breath as he walks the few steps to my chair and then leans down 

“Every last one of them…” he growls. His hands braced on the arms of my chair as he leans down. His face right in mine. 

“I want every last one of their fucking names Liviana” he seethes and I nod.  

“O-okay” I stutter. Axl didn’t scare me , but I guess he does in a way. I’m not scared of what he’ll do to me. But of what he’s capable of when it comes to those he cares about. And apparently I was one of those people now. 

“How many?” He growls. 

I swallow. “A lot” 

He pushes up and throws his hands to his head. Pushing his fingers into it , wincing and shaking his head as he paces back and forth. My eyes water. Because how was it that a man that doesn’t even really like me at all seemed to be more pained by the things that were done to me than my own mother. My own father. 

He stops pacing and then comes back and leans over me again and I feel warm tears streak down my cheeks. I look down , my lower lip trembling. The mug of tea shaking in my hands. 

“Look at me.” He says softly and I cry a bit more , shaking my head. 

“Look at me, now” he demands gently and I sniffle. Lifting my eyes. 

“Every last one of them will pay for what they did to you, do you hear me?” He asks and I nod. 

“Nobody will ever touch you again, if you don’t want them to. I don’t care who it is. Rich Heights fuckers or Swamp. Doesn’t matter. Even if it’s my own brothers.  I won’t let anyone do that to you again. Okay?” He says. Breathing hard. My tears falling harder as I nod. 

“I promise Liviana.” He whispers and I keep nodding. 

“Okay” I croak and my lashes hit my cheeks. 

“Look at me” he says again and I open my eyes. 

“You’re safe here.  You’re safe with me.” He whispers and I nod. 

“Does Gibson force you?” He asks and my eyes widen and I shake my head. 

“No. Never” I say. “He’s good to me”  I cry. 

“Good.” He nods once. 

“I didn’t…” he starts and then sighs. 

“I had no clue you were fifteen Liviana.” He says and tense slightly. Because now we’re talking about something else. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” I say and she shakes his head. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have….shouldnt have done anything I did without asking how old you were, I’d just assumed, and that’s on me” he says and I shake my head. 

“You were good to me that night.” I say and his eyes come to mine. 

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t already want to do.” I say softly. 

His nostrils flare. His eyes falling to my mouth. 

“Gibson will take care of you.” He says. “Stay with him. You’re good for him.” He says and his eyes still stay on my mouth. 

“We’re not together” I say softly.

“You sleep in his bed” he says and his eyes find mine again. 

“We’re not in love with each other…we’re friends” I say and he clenches his jaw. 

“I think about that night a lot” I say boldly. 

“Don’t” he growls through his teeth. 

“We’re talking…you wanted to talk…”

“Not about that” he says. 

“I kept coming back….hoping you’d look at me again…want me again…..but you didn’t….you stopped talking to me….stopped looking at me” I say.  

He exhales and stands and backs away and I swallow hard. 

“Because you were fifteen fucking years old Liviana” he says. 

“I’m not fifteen anymore” I say and set the mug down in the grass and stand. 

“But you still haven’t looked at me…..but you are tonight….” I say and he looks back at me. His eyes on mine. 

“Youre Gibsons girl and You’re too young for me Liviana. Go to bed.” He says and I step closer to him. 

“I don’t cum when I’m with Gibson.” I say and he just glares at me. 

“Not by any fault of his. He’s a great lover. But I….i can’t turn it off when I’m with him….i can’t cum because I can’t think of anything but….them….i see their faces…..feels their hands and mouths all over me…I feel them inside every part of me….and I can’t turn it off….i always feel them…..nobody has ever been able to turn it off…..but you did….” I tell him. 

“That night In the shed…I barely knew you….but I felt it…..that you were a good man…..that you wouldn’t hurt me….i felt safe ….you made everything stop in my head ….you made me cum for you” I say and he groans and his hands grabs my hips and I gasp as he pulls me to him. 

“Please” I whisper. “I just want you to make it stop again…just for a little while…please” I say softly. Begging. 

“Please Axl” I whisper.