EroticReverie

Gibson Shaw

Each time she finishes writing a name, I think she’s done. My jaw clenching harder. Tears rolling down my cheeks each time she starts to write another. Each time the pen lifts from the paper after she finishes a last name. I fucking pray that she’s done. Each time the pen hits the paper giving us another name , I want to fucking grab her and hold her. 

Who could do something like that? How could that many men hurt someone like HER? She’s everything. She’s happiness and comfort and sweet and kind. How the fuck could they do that to her? How could HE do that to her? Her own god damned father. To my girl. To OUR fucking girl. 

I look around the table. My brothers flinching right along with me as the list continues to grow. 

“I…I don’t know this one’s last name” she says softly. Looking at the paper. 

“That’s alright” Axl says softly and rubs her back. 

“Youre doing good baby, it’s alright” he says so softly. Softer than I’ve ever heard him. Softer with her than he’s ever been with anyone else. Baby. He calls her baby. Axl Shaw doesn’t call women baby.  If I didn’t love Liv the way I do, I might be jealous of it. The fact she can escape with him but not with me. The fact I’ve never been able to give her what she needs like he can. But I’m not. Even if there wasn’t the situation at hand of all the abuse she’s gone through. I just want her happy. She deserves everything that she is. Happiness. Softness. Kindness. Comfort. Sweetness. Love. She’s all that and more. And she deserves it all in return. 

There’s about fifteen names on the paper. And we watch her , as the list grows longer. Doubling by the time she struggles to think of more names. There’s thirty two names. Names we know. Some we don’t. Names that would turn the heights upside down. My eyes on the fourteenth name she wrote. “Father Peter”.  The god damn priest at the church in the heights. My eyes on the twenty sixth name. “Father John” from the other church in the city. My jaw clenching. My eyes roaming the names over and over. But I don’t see these men’s faces. Instead I see their wives. Their children. Wondering if the wives know. Wondering if their children are safe at home. 

She writes a thirty third name and then sets down the pen. 

“I’m tired.” She says. “I’ll…..if I think of more…I’ll give you their names…I’m just tired” she says. Her voice so drained of any of that happiness. That sweetness. She’s not the girl I know , I’m seeing her as she is. What she’s been hiding and keeping secret. Her mask is down and she’s too exhausted to pretend. My heart breaks into a million more pieces and Axl leans in and kisses her temple. 

“Go lay down Baby, do you want me to bring you dinner?” He asks her and she shakes her head. 

When she stands. I stand too. She looks at me. 

“Is …is it okay if I sleep alone tonight?” She asks. I nod. 

“You take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” I say and she nods. 

She looks around the table and then towards the family room. 

“Wake me up when Violets ready for bed.” She says. 

“We got it.” Jagger says and she just nods. 

All of us watching her as she turns. Her limbs sagging and her steps not carrying any of that happiness they normally do. 

I sit back down. All seven of us glaring at the paper right where she left it.  We stare. And we stare. 

“She said there was a lot….” Axl says. His voice cracking slightly and he clears his throat. “But I didn’t…think there’d be that many.” 

All of us are silent. 

“When do we start?” Sid asks. I look to him. He’s still glaring at the paper. 

“Tonight.” Cash and Crue both say together. 

All of us nod together. 

We couldn’t kill thirty three men. But we’d need to be able to sleep tonight.  And we couldn’t do that knowing all those men were out there. 

So, we could kill at least one of them. For now.