EroticReverie

Peyton

I've always considered myself smart. Mostly strong. Except for when it came to Jackson. He was a force I couldn't resist. Not then. Clearly not now either. I'm going to have a hell of a lot to talk about in therapy. Because those three words had me undone all over again. My ears missed that voice, my eyes missed that face. My body missed his. I wasn't sure if trying again would work, but I already knew that I wanted to. That I couldn't live forever without at least knowing I'd tried. But I knew him. I knew myself. And going anywhere with him right now, I'd end up naked with him, because my body has been without him for four fucking years and I wouldnt be able to stop myself from giving into the electric tension between us. My nipples already pricking tight beneath my dress. 

"Hi." I say and he sighs.

"You look beautiful Peyton." he says and I swallow. 

"thank you" I say and look down and then back up at him. 

There's no more words, just us staring at one another.

"I should...probably go." I say. "It was good to see you." 

But as soon as I go to walk past him he grabs my arm gently and my skin lights up at his touch, shiver going down my arm and he turns, his chest to my back. His mouth dipping to my ear. 

"You shouldn't go." he whispers. "You never should have gone....and I shouldnt have let you Peyton. I never shouldv'e let you go...I shouldve given you the time you needed and fought harder when you wanted those papers signed..but I just...I couldnt stand to hurt you anymore than I already had. Hurting you is the biggest mistake of my life...the second was not fighting harder for you to stay." He says, even though he did fight. He tried, he really did, sure he could have tried harder, but Im not sure it would have worked. Because he's right...it was hurting me more to stay there...and I'd needed time. 

"The third was waiting four fucking years to tell you I still love you, and I will never, ever fucking love anyone else BUT you...it's always going to be you Peyton...nobody else....and I don't deserve another chance with you...I know that little devil" he sighs. I close my eyes, my lip wobbling as he still stands behind me. 

"But Im asking you...begging you...to give me one anyways." he whispers and his nose nudges my ear.

"Life isn't worth a god damn thing without you in it Peyton...I fucked up and I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you...if you'll let me....it's only ever gonna be you Peyton....and I can make all the promises in the world to you...but i know it wont matter, because i broke the only one that fucking mattered to you...but i fucking swear to you...I'll never hurt you like that again....."

I turn and look up at him. 

"I've already forgiven you, if that's what you need. If that why you're doing this. To feel better." I say and he grits his teeth.

"Well that's fucking great little devil, but forgive me all you want, but I havent forgiven myself and I never will" he says. "And no...that's not why Im doing this, I'm doing this because I can't fucking life without you and I miss my fucking wife." he says and my heart pounds in my chest.

"Im seeing someone." I say. Because the second I fucking cave to him, it's game over. And maybe my therapist would shake her head at me for it, but god damnit, this man brought out the crazy in me, and I was ready to fight with him. 

"Yeah? How that's working out Peyton?" He asks. 

"Great actually." I say and lift my chin. He laughs and shakes his head. 

"He bores you." He says. 

My brows pinch. "No he does not, we're-"

"Baby, he fucking bores the hell out of you and you know it." he says and then he steps forward and I step back and I'm leaning against the wall right outside of the entrance, my heart pounding as my chest rises and falls. 

Jackson places his  hands on the wall near my head and dips his head down and I suck in a breath as he brings his mouth near my ear again.

"I've watched you with him all god damn night Peyton....and you're fucking bored....you're not even yourself with him...are you? ...does he know fucking wet you get when you're angry? Does he know how to fuck you when you're pissed off? Does he let you argue with him just because he knows how hot the fuck is going to be afterward?" he asks and my thighs push tightly together.

"He doesnt let other women touch him , I know that much" I say, no matter how hot it is to hear him in my ear and have him send my hormones into a tailspin.

"He doesnt make me cry" I say and he exhales. I can feel him tensing, feel the hurt Im causing, and part of me is glad to do it. To know he still feels bad, and truly hasnt forgiven himself. 

"Punish me as much as you need to Peyton, I'll take it. Because I know I deserve it. But god damnit Little Devil, dont fuckin lie to me and tell me you're happy with him" 

"Therapy changes people, I'm...b-better now." I say, my stammer bettraying my confidence. 

"I'm happy" I exhale. 

"Are you ?" he asks , his nose sliding over the shell of my ear. I nod.

"...he's..he's going to ask me to marry him" I say. 

"Tell him no." Jackson growls and my panties fucking soak themselves and I whimper. 

"Fucking look at me Peyton" he says, drawing his head back slightly and I suck in a breath as his nose brushes mine and his eyes look right into mine.

"You'll be nobody elses wife but mine, do you understand?" He growls through his teeth. 

"being your wife landed me with a broken heart that took over a year of therapy to fix." 

his nostrils flare. He flinches and looks down. 

"I'm sorry Peyton, I'm so fucking sorry and-"

"dont be....i fixed what you broke all my own without you Jackson...i know you're sorry,...i believe you....but loving you isnt enough reason to give you another chance....i'm sorry." I say and swallow down the urge to cry.

He sighs and hishead dips, his forehead pressing to mine. 

"Peyton, please" he whispers. 

"I have to go.....Daniel is waiting for me." I say. 

"Little Devil...please don't go" he says and I choke back the sob in my throat. I dip out from under his arm. 

"It was great to see you" I say through the emotion in my throat and I walk as quickly as I can, tears falling down my cheeks. 

"Peyton" he calls for me and I stop.

"I'm not done fighting for you. If you think this is it...you're wrong. I want my wife back, and I plan on getting her back. So if you think this is me letting you walk away again, you're fucking wrong baby." he says. I don't turn , but a small smile falls on my lips, and I keep walking.