EroticReverie

Walker

We don't shower together, much to my confused dicks dismay. But we spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out and watching repeats of recorded "Too Cute" episodes on the television. I steal glance at her, the happy dopey little smile on her face while she watches a litter of kittens, just do random kitten shit. 

It's all so comfortable with her. I smile as she scoots closer to make room for Sampson , my black lab when he decided he wants to lay beside her. He's a god damn traitor. But only when it comes to her. I smile as he lays his head in her lap and lets out a content little huff and his eyes close as she strokes the top of his head and massages his ears while she watches the tv. I know five years is a long time to go without realizing everything you've ever really wanted, is right in front of your fucking face, and right under your nose smelling like your bodywash and two in one shampoo and conditioner. I could get used to this, I think to myself. I AM used to this. But I want this, and I feel like a real fucking asshole for only now just letting myself realize that all the thoughts I had of her, that I denied and blamed on our friends for putting it in my head by constantly asking "have you two hooked up?" "when are you two just gonna start dating?" "Youre practically a married couple already." All those thoughts weren't just because of our friends, those thoughts snuck up on me without warning , often. And I always pushed them tot he back of my head, because I didnt want to risk it. I couldnt risk it. I'd never risk HER. 

I could do this, for the rest of my life, live in her company, her light, her smiles and her tears, her calming presence. Because when she's around, everything sucks less and life is the best when I'm near her, or think of her and remember that she's my best friend, and that she's a part of my life. But now, now it's too god damn late. Five years of friendship. The best friendship I've ever had. And what? I was supposed to open my fucking mouth and say "Sorry for the five year delay to realize it, but I think I maybe more than love you, but Im pretty sure I might be IN love with you." ??? Fuck no. Because let's say she feels the same way, then we date, call it more than friendship, and then, what if it changes? What if we realize we're not meant to be together, and then everything changes. Because even if it ends on good terms, then I don't get to have THIS anymore. I cant hang out with my ex while dating other women. And even if stay single, I dont get to have her cuddled up against me, or spending all of her time with me, or having sleepovers in my bed. 

Everything changes if I say anything that suggests I may want ..more. 

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"I'll pick you up in a few hours?" I ask as we stand near her car. It's still light out, but I walk her to her car everytime she's here. 

"I can drive if you want." She says with a shrug. Our mutual friends are going out again tonight and invited everyone in the twenty person, beyond chaotic group chat. Everyone else was going, so we decided we would go too. 

"Yeah, no." I say and shake my head. 

"Didnt you just fuck up your front end on that curb last week?" I ask. 

She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. 

"My front end is FINE." She says as she looks at me. 

"But you DID hit a curb, correct?" I cock a brow and cross my own arms and she sucks her teeth and licks them.

"Pick me up at ten." She says and lifts her nose and turns from me. 

"Excuse me, you forgetting something?" I ask as she reaches for the door.

"You took me on a hell hike today, you think you deserve a hug?" She cocks a brow. 

"Dont even fucking joke about it, get over here." I say as I reach out and grab my t shirt she put on after the shower and pull her by the middle of it, and right into me. Her hands lift to my chest, when they normally just go right around my middle.

She drops her eyes to her hands, to the foreign spot and then she moves them down a bit, but then pushes them back up and instead of our normal hug, she pushes up on her toes and wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my neck, instead of against my chest. And instead of my arms wrapping around her shoulder, my hands slip around her back, we trade positions, and it feels....different. Her nose in my neck , her breath on my skin and the way her breasts press higher on my chest, the way my one hand slips down to her lower back and to the side as I wrap her tighter to me. 

"Are we adding this to the list of new years resolutions? New hugs?" I ask and she laughs, and the sound of it against my neck, her warm breath on my skin has me pivoting my hips back, because son of a bitch, I was getting hard for this fucking hug, for her. 

"yeah, i guess so" she says with a little laugh and then presses a kiss to my neck as we release one another. I hold my breath and so does she. 

I can tell by her wide eyed panicked look, and her parted mouth, that she didnt mean do it, hadnt been thinking about it, but fuck, it came so naturally , like she's always been meant to kiss my fucking neck. 

"okay, yeah, ten, see ya" she says without addressing what she just did, and Im not sure I love or hate the way her cheeks flush as she keeps her eyes down when she turns and opens her car door and gets in. 

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We don't really dress up to go out. The places we go to are casual bars, nothing fancy, or with a dress code. but I make sure to trim my beard, do my hair, and put on the cologne she bought for me randomly because I apparently "Need to stop wearing axe, you're not a fifteen year old boy." she'd said as she handed it to me one day at her place. 

I try not to think about last night, try not to think about all the odd little changes she made to our natural way of things, try not to think about that hug, or that soft little kiss on my neck. I fail miserably, but again, keep fucking trying to push it all out of my head. Because I couldnt let this fucking go up in flames, I couldnt let us both make it fucking weird to be around another. Just. Be. Normal. 

When I put up outside her place, a house she lives in with two other girl friends of hers and one of their boyfriends, she walks out wearing a dress. Not just any dress either. Is she fucking kidding me right now? I drop my hand to my lap and shift my rising dick with a groan. 

Sure ive seen her dressed up, but that was BEFORE. Before everything, and how could I never realize how fucking hot she was? Sure I knew she was pretty, fucking cute, and beautiful. But she looked...damn. 

I watch her walk in the short black dress, it hugs every single curve from her breasts to her mid thigh. It's a square neck halter like dress, and her tits, jesus christ. God, she had fucking fantastic tits. I shift my hand over my lap again. Her breasts are pressed together, and heave out the top of the dress just enough to make a grown man fucking cry, or drool, or get on his knees and fucking beg for all that's under that damn dress. 

She's wearing black strappy heels, and has a little black purse clutched in her hand and her hair is down. The long dark brown hair, that hits her lower back right above her ass. 

Fuck. Do I tell her she looks great? or do I do what I would normally do and tease her, and ask her if she was going to put any clothes on over her underwear? 

I get out and pray my dick isnt too obvious as I go to her door as she comes down the driveway. 

She lifts her eyes when she get's closer and scrunches her nose with a little smile. 

"You're dressed up." I say. Good. Safe. 

"yeah, the girls said it was little black dress night." she says with a shrug. 

"Is that a bar thing or a you guys made it up thing?" I ask and she smiles. 

"they made it up." She says and I smile and pull open the door and let her get in.

Normal me would make a boob joke, normal me would say something like "you didnt need to bring the extra air bags you know" , but I dont say anything at all as I close the door and walk around and get back in the truck. 

--

Once we're at the bar, I see all of the girls in our friend group wearing some kind of version of a little black dress and spending a good fifteen to twenty minutes just complimenting each other and asking where they got their dresses and telling each other how hot they all look. Which, to be fair, they all DO look pretty hot. But one in fucking particular is a god damn walking flame. 

I congregate with the guys who have already bought a few buckets of beers and then a bucket of hard iced teas. 

when the girls get done having their "you're so hot" fest, and make their way over to the tables, I pull out one of the hard iced teas and open it for Bella and watch her stand on the opposite side of the high table. I swallow down the hurt feelings that errupt , because she was purposely standing away from me. We dont do that. When were around each other were stuck like fucking magnets. I move around the table and lift my hand and lower the hard tea in front of her.

She lifts her hand and takes it while looking over her shoulder and up at me with a smile. A normal one. Okay. Good, maybe I was just reading into it, god I needed to fucking relax. 

"thanks Cupcake" she smiles and then turns slightly and pushes up slightly and kisses my cheek. I exhale harder than I should with relief and she turns back around. 

We all stand around talking, shouting and laughing and drinking while the bar fills up little by little. After she finishes her hard iced tea, I reach over her and grab another from the bucket, she knows its not for me. She lifts her hand and pushes the back of mine back towards the bucket.

"Dont you want another one?" I ask in her ear. Because she always gets at least a little tipsy, four drink minimum when we go out and she's not driving. 

She shakes her head and then shifts and looks up at me. 

"I dont want to get drunk tonight." She says. and I look at her. Was it because of last night? Now I feel bad, now she thought she couldnt even have a good time? 

"Bella , if you're worried about..."I pause and she looks to the side and then back at me. 

I lean in and lower my voice so only she can hear. 

"I'll sleep on the couch if you're worried something might happen if you drink." I say and she shakes her head.

"It's not that" she says in my ear. 

I pull back and our friends have mostly wandered either to talk to other people, or to dance , or smoke outside. 

"alright." I say and nod, accepting her answer. But then lift my hands, and place them on the table, and box her in and she pressed her back to the edge of the table.

"Then why dont you want another drink?" I ask as I dip my chin slightly, and lift my eyes to peer at her. 

"I'm not afraid of something happening if I drink...." she says and then looks at me, her eyes on mine.

"I just..." she says, and I wait patiently, but she sighs and looks down again.

"You just what , Peanut?" I ask and she lifts her eyes.

"Nothing, I just dont want to drink tonight. Im not feeling it." She says and blinks as if she waiting to see if I buy the lie she's selling me or not. But she knows, that I know she's lying. She knows I dont buy it. But now shes waiting to see if I'll let her get away with it or make her spit out whatever the reason really is. 

"Okay Peanut." I say, not willing to push right now. Was she not drinking, because, she was afraid of WOULDNT happen if she drunk? Was she staying sober incase we crossed that line again ? No thats just your hopeful dick talking Walker, I tell myself. 

"Cmon" one of the girls pulls Bella's hand out of nowhere. 

"Time to dance your pants off" Lindsay says as she smiles at me. 

"Stealing your girl. Byeeeeeee" she says as I lift my one arm and let her pull Bella away. Bella smiles softly with a roll of her eyes at Lindsay calling her "my girl" , because that's what everyone says when it comes to Bella. That's she's mine. Or that I'm "Her boy" 

I watch her follow Lindsay in between the bodies, where the other "little black dress" party stands , waving them in and all of them dancing in a little circle together to the music.