EroticReverie

Hadley Harper 

After dinner Theo and his band play a small concert up on the deck. I don’t go. I go to my suite to mope and feel sorry for myself. But after a good half an hour, I get my shit together and instead do a solo spa night with myself. I primp  in the bathroom, paint my toenails and fingernails and spend a fair amount of time just lounging around. I  order some room service. Order a movie on the television and sit on the bed , letting my clay face mask dry as I wait for my room service. 

I pause the movie when there’s a knock at my door. And because I’ve seen one too many documentaries, I look out the peephole first.  My brows pinch. 

“I can hear you Hadley.” Theo says. All sweaty looking , his long hair that falls nearly to his shoulders is pulled back in a slutty man bun. I watch as he flicks his lip ring with tongue as he waits. 

“Baby, just open the door please. I’ve got your strawberries and champagne, and your chicken tenders.” He says and my stomach rumbles. 

“I also brought you a bottle of tequila.” He says and I growl at the door and undo the latch. 

His brows pop and then I realize my face is covered in a white clay mask. 

“You’re not coming in.” I say. “Give me my food. And my strawberries and champagne”  I say. 

“ the tequila?” He asks and holds the bottle up with a smile. 

“No. Tequila makes me stupid.” I say and he sets it down on the top of the little cart. 

“So what, you’re paying off this cruise by working as a room service waiter?” I ask as I cross my arms and he smiles slightly. And I look away, because I can NOT handle a smile from him right now. 

“Yeah, I’m on the schedule for next two hundred years.” He says and roll my eyes not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a twitch of my lips. 

“Can I please come in?” He asks. I look at him now. I shake my head. 

“I have no excuse for hurting you Hadley. I’m truly sorry.” He says. 

“Whatever. I don’t even care.” I say as I lie. Because I do care. I’ve always cared. Too much, and it makes me feel silly for how much I care after this long. 

“Well I do. I care. And I know back then I didn’t care about anyone but myself-“

“All you cared about what your dick.” I say as I interrupt. 

“I mean, I can’t even argue with that. I was a dumbass.” He says. 

“You still are.” I say and he gives me a weak smile. 

“Can we please just, talk? I won’t try anything. I swear.” He says and I shake my head. 

“Please baby” he says softly. I frown and shake my head. 

“Don’t call me that.” I say even softer. 

“I fucked up so bad with you Hadley. I had plenty of time to pull my head out of my ass , and failed to. And youre right, anytime I saw you liking someone else, I pulled you back in. Just so nobody else could have you. It was a fucking shit way to act, to play with you like that. I know it’ll sound like bullshit saying this, but I did love you. I know my actions disprove my words a hundred percent. But I loved you and you were my first love, my first everything. And I just , threw it away. I was the worst kind of asshole to you. I just, I feel like I really fucked up you know? What we had? Even if we only dated a few months, I feel like we could’ve ended up an eighty year married couple of highschool sweethearts. And I fucked that up.” 

I just stare at him. Then my eyes look down and widen. 

“What the hell is that?” I ask as I look at his wrist. At the black and neon purple bracelet I made him back in highschool. Before we even started dating. It’s around his wrist. 

“Proof that I never let go of you.” He says and I clench my jaw. Tears filling my eyes. 

“You did though. You let me go when you cheated. When you broke up with me to date some other a girl a WEEK after I gave my virginity to you! You let me go each time you suckered me in just to get me into bed so you could string me along. You let me go when you waited thirteen fucking years to even give a shit about apologizing to me!” 

“Hadley I-“

“No! Stop! You don’t GET it. You RUINED me. And I’m STILL ruined.” I say as tears fall down my cheeks and I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with face mask flakes falling off my chin. 

“You fucking…broke me…I’m broken” I cry and turn my face. 

“Let me hold you, please” he says quietly. 

“No! Are you listening?! YOURE THE REASON FOR THIS!” I say and point to my stupid tears. 

“You! YOU FUCKED ME UP SO GOOD THAT EVEN THIRTEEN YEARS LATER IM STILL A FUCKING MESS OVER YOU!” I yell at him. 

“Just. Leave me alone Theo.” I say shaking my head. “If you want to finally do right by me? Leave me the hell alone.” I say. Crying as I slam the door in his face and flick the lock.