EroticReverie

Hadley Harper 

“Today’s a new day babe” Abby says as she wakes up beside me , shoving me awake. I’d selfishly called her in the middle of the night after Theo showing up and making me have yet another meltdown. She was drunk and like the good friend she is told me he didn’t deserve me, validated my thirteen year old feelings of betrayal and hurt. She let me wallow in, let me vent and snuggled her drunk ass up to mine and spooned me and consoled me while slurring words of comfort. I loved her. So much. Abby is the kind of best friend that’s a soul mate. She just gets it. 

“I’m picking your ass up in the an hour, get ready, get hot, cause were gonna flirt with every single man on this ship and we’re gonna get our pussies fucked.” she says and I choke on my saliva. 

“What?!” I laugh. 

“Oh right. You’re into anal.” She says with a shiver and makes a face. “Gross. But. Fine. You can get your ass fucked instead.” She says with a wave of her hand. I just laugh as I sit up and wipe sleep from my eyes. 

“Youre out of control” I say with a laugh and then yawn and stretch. 

“No babe. I’m IN control. We’re going to make every single dick on this ship leak with precum” she says and I shake my head with another laugh. 

“I love you” I sigh and she smiles and then jumps on the bed and ontop of me and I screech and then laugh as she straddles me. Grabs my face and then pulls her lips tight and stares at me with such a serious face that I can’t stop laughing. 

“No more tears. You hear me? We’re here to have fun. Fuck Theo Thorne and fuck that tool Travis. We’re gonna get you laid. Hard.” She says and I laugh. 

“Yeah okay” I say to appease her. She nods. 

“Good. I’m glad we agree. See you in an hour!” She says and hops off the bed and grabs her room key and phone and shake her ass at me as she leaves the suite. 

————

We’re sitting on the main pool deck where there a stage set up , and people are doing karaoke.  Very terribly. It’s later in the afternoon and I’ve yet to see Theo. I’m thankful and also kicking myself for how many times I’ve looked around for him. Pathetic. You told him to stay away and he is. This is what you wanted. This is the way it needs to be. You need to get over it. I tell myself a hundred times as I pound back one pina colada after another. 

Stefan ends up finding me again and hangs out with me and Abby, and other old friends spend time with us , but eventually it’s just us three. Stefan sings a purposely terrible and dramatic rendition of Celine Dions “my heart will go on”. 

“We’re on a fucking ship and he chooses THAT song?” Abby says and I laugh.  Yeah. Maybe not the best choice. But everyone is laughing and clapping and hollering as he lowers his chin and lifts both hands with the mic and whispers. “I’ll never let go Jack. I’ll never let go.” One of the famous lines from the movie. I shake my head and he then takes a dramatic bow and hands over the mic to the person running the stage. 

“Great job.” I laugh as he takes his seat back beside us. 

“Uh oh” Abby says and I look back to the stage as I see what she sees and my smile falls flat and my heart does a loop de loop and my stomach flutters as I see Theo on stage , his hair pulled back. He’s shirtless and wearing a pair of dark jeans. My mouth waters and my vagina wakes up and starts to ache just from one single look at this man. 

I scowl at him at the song starts and his eyes find mine and he begins to sing a song that was popular around the time we dated. around the time he cheated. It’s ‘Not Over You’ by Gavin DeGraw. 

As I watch him. Abby and Stefan, and every single damn person around, watches him AND me. Because he doesn’t take his eyes off me as he sings each word. There’s regret in his voice and it looks and sounds so sincere. 

Too little, way too late. Don’t be fooled. I tell myself as my body objects and my cunt fucking throbs to feel him, my hands clenched around my half empty colada glass as I picture us naked in my suite the other night, how god damn good he felt inside of me. 

Maybe you can just fuck him. Get him out of your system , I try to negotiate with myself. No. That man will never be out of your system. You fell in love with him, and havent stopped loving him since. You’re a basket case that’s obsessed with your three month long relationship that happened thirteen years ago in high school.  Get it together Hadley. Get it the fuck together. 

Would it hurt to fuck just one more time? My pussy asks , with a mind of her own. I huff and bite the straw in my glass as the song ends and people are still looking back and forth between us. 

What a jackass. 

He stands there a moment. Then people clap and I roll my eyes and look away from him. I don’t know how I take my eyes off him, but I do. And when I look back a handful of seconds later. He’s gone. Good. One damn karaoke song isn’t gonna change my mind. I need to stay away from him. 

——-

Dinner is calm. Travis has been reassigned to a table on the top floor of the dining room, and thankfully stays away. After we eat Abby goes off to flirt with a bartender on the main deck as I wander the ship aimlessly and stop to talk to a few old classmates. 

Stefan finds me again and we go and hang out in my suite on the balcony.

He’s in one chair , I’m in the other. Him shirtless and in shorts , me in a white bikini with my feet in his lap as he massages them. 

He smirks when I look up at him giving me an unspoken offer. I roll my eyes and he laughs. 

“You were a great boyfriend. You know that?” I ask him and he smiles. 

“You were a great girlfriend” he says and I hum as his thumbs work the arch of one of my feet. 

“You know. People change Hadley.” He says and I look at him and raise a brow in question. 

“Theo.” He says. Then I grumble. 

“Can we not talk about that asshole?” I sigh and he smiles softly and switches to my other foot. 

“I’m just saying, we all have changed. Hell, I like men now.” He says and I laugh. 

“You didn’t always like men?” I ask him 

“I definitely did.” He says and I smile. 

“But I wasn’t out.  I was afraid back then. Of what I wanted. Afraid of who I was. I was still learning how to live my life. We all were. You know?” He asks. 

I sigh. 

“Are you defending what he did to me?” I ask. 

“No. Absolutely not. I’m just saying, nobody knows who they are in highschool. We all made mistakes. Did dumb shit. It’s part of growing up.” He says and I know he’s right. 

“Theo was a jackass. And he probably still is , a little bit.” He says and I smile with a short laugh. 

“He definitely still is.” I say. Stefan smiles and keeps rubbing my feet. 

“I’m a big believer in second chances.”he says. 

“He’s had a dozen chances. And several years to make it right.” I say. Stefan nods. 

“He’s not the same guy anymore Hadley. He is. But isn’t. Maybe you should give him another chance?” He says and I huff. 

“Did he pay you to say that?” I ask and Stefan laughs. 

“No. But maybe I should have thought of asking him for payment before rooting for him to you.” He says and give him a little kick on his arm with my foot and he laughs. 

“I’m kidding.” He says. “But it’s clear you two had something special. Yes. He messed it up. Really fucking bad. But if it’s still there, those feelings, after this long of a time, why not give it another shot? You deserve good things. And I think if you let him, he’d give you the world.” He says and I swallow hard and look out to the ocean. 

“My dad left me and my mom when I was five. I barely remember him.” I say as I think about growing up without a father. 

“I didn’t remember him enough to really be all the upset by it. Sure, as I got older and went through life, I’d always wonder why he didn’t want me. Why I wasn’t enough for him to want to be a part of my life. It still hurts sometimes, to think about. But, Theo? He’s the one that truly broke my heart. He’s the only boy or man I’ve ever loved. You would think my absent father would have been the man that ruined my trust of men. But it was Theo. And I haven’t been the same since. How do you give a chance to someone that did that to you? And went on living his life while mine fell apart?” I ask as little tears roll down my cheeks. 

“I know we were young. And I know people change. I can tell he’s changed. I know part of becoming who you want to be is sometimes figuring out the person you don’t want to be. Making mistakes and learning from them. But I just….i can’t forget how much it hurt. I was devastated. I haven’t fallen in love with anyone other than him. I’ve tried. God. I’ve fucking tried. How do you give a chance to someone who made you incapable of finding happiness?” I say and swipe my tears. 

“I’m so sorry Hadley. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He says and I sniff and shrug. 

“It’s not that you’re wrong. I love that asshole. I always will. But I can’t put myself through that again. I can’t let myself keep loving him. It’s pathetic.” I say. 

“What is?” He asks. 

“Me. Loving him STILL. after thirteen years. That’s crazy.” I say and shake my head and wipe more of my tears. 

“How is that crazy? When you love someone, it’s SUPPOSED to be forever. You love your mom still right?”

“She’s my mom.” I say with a sniffle. “That’s different”

“It’s really not. It’s a different love. But when you truly love someone, I don’t think it ever goes away. I saw it today. With him singing to you. That man still loves you too. And if you ask me, I don’t think he ever stopped. Did he fuck up? Sure as hell did. Did he wait too fucking long to admit it and apologize? Yes. But I’m a romantic, and I think there’s still love there. Still fire. I see it. Fuck, I god damn feel it.”

“Are you SURE he didn’t pay you to say all this?” I ask and Stefan laughs with a smile. 

“I’m sure.” He says and I pull my feet from his lap and sigh. 

“I’m not saying make it easy for him Hadley. Give the rich rockstar bastard ,hell. “ he says and I laugh and take a deep breath to rid myself of the tears. 

“But…I think you know if you don’t at least give it a chance…you’ll be an old wrinkly lady watching him do some embarrassing comeback tour in thirty years , and wondering, what if?” He says and I laugh at the idea of an Theo on stage trying to make a comeback. But he’s right. I’d regret it. I love Theo still. Even after all the time that’s passed. And I know, without a doubt, in thirty years, I’m still going to love that man. 

But how do I ever trust someone who cheated on me, when they’re a fucking heartthrob that half of americas population wants to fuck them? Could I trust that? Him touring. Women throwing themselves at him? No. I really don’t think I could. I express that to Stefan out loud. 

“Youre letting your imagination shut it down without giving it a chance Hadley. He’s not that guy anymore. He was a kid. So were you. You’re both older now. I think it’d be a shame if you didn’t at least see where it goes.” He says and sigh. 

“I swear he paid you.” I mutter and Stefan stands and pulls me up out of the chair and pulls me to him. 

“Youre a good one Hadley. I just want you to be happy.” He says and I nod. It’s crazy how so much time has passed and Stefan still manages to make me so comfortable, like no time has passed at all. 

“You sure you don’t prefer women more ? We could give us a try again.” I say and he laughs softly. Because he knows I’m not serious. I hug him tighter. 

“Thank you for the talk.” I say. 

“You’re welcome.” He says and kisses my cheek. 

“You going to the neon night thing?” He asks and I shrug. 

“Youre going.” He says and I laugh. 

“Yeah. Alright. Life coach.” I say and he smiles and then takes my face in his hands. I look up at him. 

“Get out of here before I ask to sit on your fingers” I say and he laughs and throws his head back and it makes me laugh too. he pulls me into another hug. 

“I’m always down for finger banging” he laughs.

“I know you are. And you’re good at it.” I say and he pulls back with a smile and nods. 

“Thank you. Glad I could have been of service to you so many times when we were together.” 

I give him a little swat

“Get out of here Stefan” I say playfully and he laughs and grabs my chin and tips it up. 

I smile softly at him. 

“Take a chance at happiness Hadley. Make him work for it. But give him a chance”

“Youre really working for that paycheck he’s giving you” I tease 

“If it works out. You tell that man he owes me. Big time.” Stefan says and I laugh. He gives me a wink and then I walk him to my door and as I’m opening it. There he is. Theo face goes from surprised to scowling. 

“Trust me. You do not want to mean mug him.” I say to Theo. 

“Because he’s the only reason I’m not telling you to get the hell out of here.” I say to Theo. Stefan laughs and kisses my cheek then nods to Theo and gives him a clap on the shoulder. 

“Don’t you dare make me look like an idiot.” Stefan tells him and Theo gives a look of confusion as he Stefan walks down the hall.  Theo watches him walk away. Then looks at me with question all over his face. I roll my eyes. 

“God.” I huff.  

“What do you want Theo?” I ask. Being a brat. Because I can. I don’t care if I’m twenty seven still acting like I’m fifteen. 

“To talk.” He says and i just stand there and cross my arms and hit out my hip. 

“About?” I ask with as much attitude as I can.

“Life. You. What a fucking bastard I was to you. Making it right. Apologizing till my voice gives out. Anything at all. I just want to talk to you. Look at you. Spend time with you. Listen to you talk. Even if it’s to yell at me. Because I deserve it. I’ll talk to you about the weather, or the accommodations on the ship, or Snapple cap facts. Anything. I just want to talk to you.” He says and I hood my stance even as my heart pounds in my chest. 

“Fine.” I say after several seconds. 

“But not here. Not in my room.” I say and he nods. 

“Let me throw some clothes on. Wait here.” I say , he nods several times, I sigh and look at him and roll my eyes and close the door.

“Youre still on my shit list, this means nothing” I say when I come back out. But it does mean something. It means everything. He’s always meant fucking everything.